CAN WE STILL MAKE FUN OF J.J REDICK?

by Stan, Ghosts of Wayne Fontes

It's become sort of taboo 'round these internets to simply move slowly away from continually picking a scab or in essence poking fun at a specific athlete (see Brady Quinn). Eventually, the joke and any concept of the joke has more than run it's course and thus it deserves to be 86'd. Well, one person who has been able to stay off the radar, partly due to being buried on the Orlando Magic bench is none other than everyone's favorite nemesis, J.J Redick. And picking on J.J is something that will NEVER get old for me.

Fact is, J.J hasn't exactly been moving the headlines for making it rain, popped collars, DUI’s or his lethally accurate oozy like jump shot in quite sometime. In fact, he’s hardly been relevant, newsworthy or any use for the sake of making a joke. Of course, his raw & un-cut NBA Rookie Diary made some controversial waves around various Redick fan sites a few months back, but anything else has been short lived. That was until recently, when I stumbled upon an infomercial, starring J.J Redick.

And to be honest, it has been killing me that J.J has kept such a low profile. The world is always a better place when I can make fun of that guy. And that's when it happened. There I was, perhaps a little overserved on a few adult sodas, half alert on my couch when an infomercial pops up on the screen. It’s the one and only J.J Redick shooting jumpers in a bizarre red uniform in an empty gym. I have to do the double take…no way, but it’s really him. They are even slow motioning the feed and showing the precise art that is a J.J Redick jump shot.

Somewhere in America, Dick Vitale was probably having multiple orgasms, while Coach K was misty eyed. And there I was, cracking up at what’s probably only really funny to a demented person like myself who relishes in another’s humility. Yet, that’s me. Anyhow, it’s as if J.J has found his one true calling in life...to shoot fucking jumpers in a video for a living. Nobody ever claimed he couldn’t shoot like a laser technician (whatever that means). However, most people realized he had no chance of splashing that jumpshot in the NBA, because he lacked size, quickness and um, the ability to defend.

However, man can J.J stroke it and I mean stroke it (that's Viagra to Dickie V's ears). It looks as though, poor J.J despite ripping it up in Summer League is destined to battle for minutes in the Orlando rotation. Well, at least now he's landed in the good graces with the“Better Baskeball Shooting Instruction Video” to cement his permanent legacy. And forgive me if you've seen the infomercial or even ordered the video, but here is what you get...47 minutes of un-cut Redick.

Throughout his college career, JJ Redick showed the world that he is perhaps the best shooter to ever play the game. This includes his unique ability to get his shot off despite being the key of every defensive gameplan. The result is a player with some amazing accomplishments.

You also get the inside tips on how J.J focuses, how to build a shooters mentality, how to break a slump, how to control arc, how to perfect form, how to use the hop, how to grow as a shooter and several more techniques (only if you buy the video) on how to become a "MASTER" shooter. What the fuck is this? Is it like being trained by Obi-Wan to become a Jedi?

Duke Algebra.

Coming out of the locker room takes TIMING to find SPACE on the bench.

Look at the form..."STROKE IT."
Well, the litmus test will be if it improves my shooting. Count me down for one order, I can't resist. The void of hating and making fun of J.J Redick in my life just won't ever go away. Oh yeah, BTW I was joking not a chance in well would I buy that fucking video.