THE DEFINITION OF A CAPTAIN

by Kristine, This Suit Is Not Black

If there's one team in the NBA that's a shining example of all that should be right and good in professional athletics, it has to be the Golden State Warriors, who just named Stephen Jackson as one of their three captains this coming season.

No one represents the qualities of a captain like Stephen Jackson. Forget that he starts off the season with a 7-game suspension. That's water under the bridge to the Warriors, apparently. Even though it stems from a guilty plea to a felony count of criminal recklessness in June because he fired off a gun outside an Indianapolis strip club last October. And besides, that's nothing compared to the 30 games he was out for bitch-slapping fans during the 2004 Pacers-Pistons brawl.

And don't worry about the two times he was ejected from playoff games last year. That shows passion, people.

Yes, my friends, the Warriors know what they're doing and they scoff at your inability to see the forest for trees.

"We have great confidence in him as a player and a leader, and I think you'd hear that from most people who have spent time to really get to know Jack," said coach Don Nelson.

And by "most people" I think he means the police.