A GREAT WAY TO PICK UP GIRLS

by WCK, 100% Injury Rate

If there's anything I've learned from writing every so often about soccer players, it's that they're basically functional and highly skilled retards. Because some of the stuff they do is simply beyond all comprehension.

Let's take former Preston North End striker David Nugent who's now with Portsmouth. He met a nice young 19-year-old hottie recently at a bar who he was smitten with. So what did he do? What everyone does when they want to bag a fine piece of ass. He sent her a full-frontal naked picture of himself to her mobile phone.

Now that's how you do it gentlemen. All class.

Anyway, the girl immediately forwarded the image to all her friends in the city. One of them told a national newspaper: "There are a lot of Preston fans who are cheesed off about him leaving – so this is payback."

Simply retarded.