Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: LANCE ARMSTRONG IS DATING WHAT?

LANCE ARMSTRONG IS DATING WHAT?

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

Multiple Tour de France champion and alleged cheater Lance Armstrong, 36, has apparently REALLY moved on since his relationships with Sheryl Crow and designer Tory Burch.

The Post's Page Six is reporting that he is now working it young school with none other than Ashley Olsen. Yeah, that's right, Lance is getting giggity with the baby Tanner, now 21-year old beanstalk, from Full House. This has to be some kind of Halloween prank right?

The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch's ex, Lance Armstrong, 36. Our bar spy said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m." Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here. Another source said, "He tried to make Tory happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn't deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up."


Uh, what? And ewwww.

So let me get this straight. Lance went from these two:



To this:



Maybe Lance is a little low on testosterone or something. If only he knew of somewhere to get a thing like that. If only...

1 comment(s):

Frankie Andreu Remembers, Lance! said...

So, Ms. Olsen's father is a pharmacist, we can assume?

Haha, Lance the blood doper and EPO'er. Read David Walsh's "LA Confidentiel" in French, or "From Lance To Landis" in the mother tongue. There are no miracles in sports. You can't drive a nail into an oak tree with a butterfly, regardless of what Smarmstrong's PR machine bleats to the contrary. Gliders made of cast iron don't fly very well, no matter what Chris 'Needles' Carmichael has to say about sporting miracles.

The one Big Noise libel lawsuit Lancie dropped was against author/whistleblower Walsh, regarding Walsh's doping allegations. No way was Austin's One-Testicle Superman going to sit down across a table from Walsh's lawyers, under oath....

If Lancemonster is swarming Ms. Olsen, it's got to be because her pharmacist pappy can get him some more of that Amgen hotsauce...rEPO. Or hGh, or IGF-1...isn't professional sports wonderful?


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