THE MAIN ATTRACTION: WE OWN THE NIGHT

by Adam Best, Arrowhead Addict

Am I that excited about We Own the Night? Nah, not really. Hey, I like Eva Mendes as much as the next guy, but one can only take so much tough guy Mark Wahlberg. Plus, doesn't it seem like Robert Duvall has already played this role at least six times? This flick has "renter" written all over it (the film currently has only a 50% fresh rating over at Rotten Tomatoes).

Still, I dig the name -- We Own the Night.

It got me thinking about which current pro athletes actually do own the night. You know, which athletes dress the flyest, paint the town the reddest and pull the baddest broads.

After chewing on that question for a few days, here's my...

If-I-Could-Be-Part-of-Any-Pro-Athlete's-Entourage wish list:

Andy Roddick - As one of my fellow carnies put it, "tennis players pull tennis babes and chill with models." Judging by who The Other A-Rod has dated, this claim is A. True B. False. On the other hand, I might have to start deducting points for having dated Paris Hilton.

Chad Johnson - T.O. might be a bigger pimp, but I seriously doubt that even he can talk more game than Ocho Cinco. His flair for the dramatic and creativity would definitely make him a hit at the clubs. Plus, you've seen what having him around has done for T.J. Houshmanzadeh. As C.J.'s wingman, you'd become T.J. Whosyourdaddy.

Chuck Liddell - Call him washed up. Call him old. Call him whatever. The dude is still a bigger star than any other fighter -- boxing or MMA. This especially is true after Oscar de la Hoya went all Rudy Giuliani on us. Chuck is a rock star who moonlights as an athlete. Plus, you wouldn't have to worry about getting your ass kicked. Well, unless you had beef with Rampage.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. - This guy would probably be the single best athlete to go and tear up the South with. Well, Tim Tebow might be close, but he's not eligible due to his status as an amateur athlete. And you know Junior can throw down some brew. You just know that.

David Beckham - Even though he's married, this might be the easiest answer on the list. Most guys would do anything to be some hot chick's next-best-thing-to-Beckham for just one night. Even if that fails, I'm sure Posh has some friends who are fine as hell.

Derek Jeter - What do I even have to say here? This guy cleans house like Johnny Depp and Co. used to at the Viper Room. I don't think women even care that he might have herpes. Deny, deny, deny. Like Christopher Walken said in Catch Me If You Can, they'll be too busy gawking at the pinstripes anyway.

Gilbert Arenas - He's more fun than most athletes are in person even when you're only watching him on TV or hanging out with him at home on your computer. If Hibachi is this entertaining on his blog, on the court and during interviews, imagine what he's like when the lights go down in the city. He's not called the Black President for nothin', people. Dude throws million dollar birthday parties for himself.

Matt Leinart - In Pulp Fiction, Butch had his "L.A. privileges" revoked. Leinart, however, has about as many L.A. privileges as one can have without being named Leonardo. Sports wise, he's the man in Hollywood. Can't do much better than that. You definitely want to carry the contraceptives when you role with Matty, though. After all, you might get matched up with one the girls from Paris Hilton's entourage.

Stephon Marbury - When "bitches ain't sh**" comes out of most guys lips, the statement is simply hot air. Not Marbury -- that's his creedo. He doesn't eff around either. How many guys can successfully use "Are you going to get in the truck?" as both an opening and closing pick-up line? He can, that much has been proven in court.

Tom Brady - It is impossible not to go here. Impossible. Have you seen the caliber of girls he impregnates dates? Have you seen the way he spreads the wealth with his passes on Sunday? Screw being part of Vincent Chase's entourage -- this is the one. If all else fails, hey, at least you got to kick it with the Stetson man.

This is the part where you chime in with your own wish lists (as if I even have to tell you that)...