MEEEEEEEEEEEEOW!!! (FIST* FIST*)

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

Looks like some fireworks are going to spark up in Lincoln with Tom Osborne taking over as interim athletic director (or as I like to call it, "Offensive Football Czar".) Things are getting pretty spicy over there, as talks of firing Callahan are heating up. Some fans believe that the resurrection of Osborne is almost the seal to the deal. And then there's stories like this:

Callahan allegedly called Osborne a "crusty old (expletive)," according to former Nebraska football trainer Doak Ostergard, who is quoted in a book to be self-published by a student at the University of Nebraska.

Osborne became interim athletic director this week when Steve Pederson was fired after several dismal performances by the football team.

"I understand that head football coaches, like everyone else, have emotions," Osborne said Thursday. "I'm not surprised that my long-term influence on the program could sometimes be felt as a controlling force even while I was away, but that was never the intent."

Every word that came Osborne's mouth by the way had to be completely 100% supportive for Callahan by the way. Because it's not like the guy that practically made the program what it is historically is a little pissed that some dude is taking over and completely changing it's personaility. You know, going from grovel ball and stout "Blackshirt" defense to "YAY, AIR ATTACK! WEEEEEEEEE!" and "I Don't Want To Tackle" defense.

It's like the time I took over as Club Champion at the Golf Club. You see, the Old Man was the champ before I rolled in. There were strict dress codes, overpriced alcohol on the carts, and golf as boring as a game of Charades with Larry Brown. Now, clothes are optional, water coolers have been replaced with full-open bars at halfway houses, and free sex and rock and roll the theme everyday in the clubhouse.

The only significant difference is, I didn't drive a championship caliber program to the ground. I just wanted to get drunk and hit the snot out of the ball.