OUR FAVORITE PUNTER HAS BEEN SENTENCED

by Davey, Blown Coverage

And he actually caught a break if you ask me. Mitch Cozad, the Northern Colorado back-up punter who stabbed his teammate in the leg in an attempt to become a starter, will spend the next 7 years running the naked-bootleg in a federal ass-pounding penitentiary.

How is that "catching a break" you ask? Well, he was charged with attempted murder at first, a charge that could have gotten him 48 years in the joint. He was then found guilty of second degree assault and was looking at 16 years in the slammer. So yeah, if I was him I'd be happy with getting 7 years, something that significantly lowers his ass-to-sausage ratio.

"Clearly, this was deliberate to hurt him, and you succeeded," Weld County District Judge Marcelo Kopcow told Cozad as he announced the sentence.

"The goal is to not ruin your life," Kopcow said. "I would like you to succeed in your life."

I dunno, but it's kind of hard to succeed in life after you stab your fellow punter in the leg. But I'm kind of torn in this though. On the one hand, it's sad to see a young man go to jail but when your stabbing punters, you probably deserve whatever is coming to you.

Like I said before, it's not like he was stabbing Tim Tebow in an attempt to become the starting quarterback at Florida or Mike Hart, in an attempt to run the rock at Michigan. No, he stabbed Rafael Mendoza in an attempt to become the starting punter at Northern Colorado. That's not really going to get you a lot of "street cred" in my opinion.