PEYTON MANNING WOULD ALSO LIKE SOME HEAD

by Stan, Ghosts of Wayne Fontes

This country is enamored with the cleft chin. Women want him and men want to be him. Those eyes, that stare, the determination, the rings, the swagger, the dominance, the total package that we all seem to love and adore. And that man is the dreamboat himself, Tom Brady. Well, maybe not everyone is in love with Tom Brady. Of course, if your name is Bill Simmons or if Brady is your Fantasy QB that statement need not apply to you.

However, one person who feels a tad confused and left out of this love affair is Peyton Manning. That’s right, maybe you forgot the vitals: 6’5”, laser rocket arm, loves watching meat get cut, REIGNING Super Bowl MVP and Champion, the wet dream of Fantasy Footballers and the man who currently has his team off to a 6-0 mark. Yeah, maybe we all forgot just a little about Archie’s proudest son. Well, Peyton gave everyone wondering where he stands a reminder on Monday Night Football that he is still the toast of the town and you can’t keep him under the radar for too long.

If anything Peyton’s dismantling of the Jags on Monday night on the road (nonetheless) was far more impressive than putting up 42 points in the first half against a defenseless Miami team. Yet, somehow for the majority, we’ve fallen under the assumption that the Patriots are the end all of discussion and that somehow everyone is dumping the Colts onto the tier just below them. Huh? That’s odd, who came up with the whole notion that the Colts are flying under the radar?

Well, they sure as hell aren’t getting the slobber dripped on their knobs quite like the Patriots, but you’d be hard pressed to say the Colts are anything close to becoming irrelevant. This weekend shall go a long way into deciphering just how much love the Colts will be showered upon with by the MSM. If and I mean if, they are able to go on the road and beat a Carolina team that could be QB’d by the one and only Vinny Test-icle-verde…we may never hear the end of it.

Because, let’s face it…The Patriots are NOT going to lose to Washington this weekend (sorry for the jinx) and in all likelihood, the Colts aren’t losing to the Panthers. Thus, all this non-sense we keep hearing about nobody respecting the champs will become water under the bridge. The entire continent will get splooged with Brady vs. Manning wall-to-fucking-wall coverage. It’s going to be the National story that most around this blogosphere, the WWL and MSM will beat into a bloody pulp.

However, that’s just how it goes with Brady and Manning. Everyone is just a little obsessed when it comes to these dudes. I mean, seriously who has the bigger dick? That’s essentially what most people will try to spoon feed the casual viewer. Well, maybe not, but you get my drift…right? Anyhow, the focus should instead be on just how solid of a game this is going to be. I mean we are in every comprehensive imaginable way going to have two un-defeated teams over halfway into the season, with a history, a rivalry and who played for the AFC Championship last season to a dramatic conclusion.

What’s not to consume you about such a game? It’s Good (Dungy) vs. Evil (Belichick). It’s all the ingredients most people crave from the NFL. Yet, lurking above the surface are the faces of the NFL…Brady vs. Manning. And let’s be fair about things, Brady whined about the Patriots being under the radar from time to time in his day. However, now he’s the king of the QB business and yet, that’s not seeming to bother Manning one bit…on the outside.

However, buried deep down there is still that dude who is a stat whore and historian of the game. Don’t be fooled by the nonchalant attitude. Manning cares, he wants your love; he craves that penchant for blow jobs the media seems to have. Yeah, he’s a bit jealous of Tom Brady, but he always has been. Brady always got the rings and he always got the stats.

Then Manning turned it around and got himself a ring to go with all those stats. And now Brady has to go and piss on good ‘ole Peyton’s parade by attempting to obliterate that TD record he worked so hard to achieve. Isn’t it enough that Brady bangs Supermodels? Ah, why do I even waste my own time fulfilling these two prophecies? They can settle the score in a couple weeks. Until then, make sure to FED EX some love to poor Peyton Manning, he’s having a hard time of it right now.