RANDOM OBSERVATIONS : COLTS @ JAGUARS, SECOND HALF EDITION

by Davey, Blown Coverage

The Jags looked like sh*t on a stick in that first half. To make things worse, it looks like Garrard will be replaced by Quinn Gray again. That's pretty deflating if you ask me. Not only are the Jags down 17, but their comeback is riding on the arm of Quinn Gray.

Speaking of deflating, Espn just reminded me that Tom Brady put up 6 touchdowns on my Dolphins and that Ronnie Brown is out for the year. Right now I'm as limp as Bob Dole without his Viagra. It's pretty sad really. Either way, the second half is about to get underway and I could certainly use the distraction...

• Well, this is exactly what the Jags need. MJD takes the opening kick-off and gets a great return into Indy territory. That was a nasty move he put on Vinatieri. That's the type of move that will make a guy lose his manhood.

• Touchdown Jags. Jacksonville realizes that they'll need to run the ball if they're going to have a chance and that's just what they did on this drive. MJD churns those powerful legs and works his way into the endzone. Tony Dungy is challenging that MJD fumbled but the call stands. Indy 17, Jacksonville 7 and we might have a game here.

• Colts starting left tackle Tony Ugoh is on the sidelines and the backup tackle Charlie Johnson is getting used by Paul Spicer like a cheap hooker. Spices pressures Manning twice in a row and if Ugoh doesn't return soon, Manning might be having unwanted sex with Spicer before the night is over.

• Speaking of unwanted sex, the Colts answer right back. Hunter Smith pins the Jags deep into their territory with a good punt and Dwight Freeney takes advantage by sacking Quinn Gray for a safety. Quinn absolutely did not have a chance on that one and the result is that Indy now leads 19-7.
  

• In the meantime, Rusell Crowe has joined the booth and I see no reason why this should have happened. The only way that Crowe can earn some points in my book right now would be by making his way down to the field right now and stabbing Manning in his throwing shoulder with a rusty pocket knife.

• Paul Spicer has been all over Manning since Ugoh has left the game with his unknown injury and I'm sure that Kenny Chesney is not liking this. The fact that a rather large gentleman is constantly riding Manning to the ground must be making Chesney as jealous as a 16 year old girl. That said, Tony Ugoh is showing his worth tonight...

• The Jags defensive line comes up big and stops Indy in the redzone. Vinatieri tacks on another short field goal and it's a 22-7 lead now for Indy. Jacksonville is still down only by 15 even though they have been thoroughly outplayed so far.
  

• Quinn Gray's last 4 pass attempts. Interception, Incomplete pass, Complete pass for -2 yards and a Safety. Can't say that I'm surprised folks..

• Oh, and there's another interception. Gray tries to go deep but the pass is underthrown and Kelvin Hayden comes down with an easy pick. Quinn Gray is not endearing himself to the locals here.

• Reggie Wayne is having one hell of a game tonight. Even though he doesn't have any touchdowns, he's over 100 yards and he's making one great catch after another. Marvin Harrison might get all the pub, but I'd take Wayne on my team any day. Reggie Wayne belongs in that elite receiver group.
  

• Brian Williams picks off Peyton Manning and Jags might still have some hope here. Manning's pass got tipped at the line by Rob Meier and after the ball got bobbled some, it ended up in Williams' hands. The Jags are still only down 15 and they need to get something going here.

• Nevermind that I guess. Gray leads a crappy drive and the Jags turn it over on downs. If I'm Jack Del Rio, I'd just stick Matt Jones in at quarterback right now because I don't see how he could do any worse than Gray right now. Quinn Gray makes J.P. Losman look like Carson Palmer.

• And there's the ballgame. Manning finds a wide open Dallas Clark and that should do it. Colts lead 29-7 with under 4 minutes to go and this one looks to be decided.

• Oh, speaking of Matt Jones. Jones is growing his beard and vowing not to shave until he scores a touchdown. Jones will probably end up looking like this guy because I really don't see him scoring anytime soon. He'll be seeing a razor blade as much as I'll be seeing happiness.

• This is just sad right now. Gray is just randomly chucking up passes and hoping that they land somewhere near his receivers. And right as I type this, Gray gets sacked and that should do it. Colts take over and are a knee or two away from running this clock out.

• So that's it. Colts go to 7-0 and the build up to their November 4th match-up with New England will be sickening. Well, I'm done here. The only thing left for today is violent masturbation and I'm not going to keep it waiting any longer.