RANDOM OBSERVATIONS : PATRIOTS @ COWBOYS, FIRST HALF EDITION

by Davey, Blown Coverage

So this is it. Two of the three undefeated teams going head-to-head in what could be a possible Super Bowl preview. To say that my erection is massive right now is quite the understatement. We all know the storylines here. Tom Brady has been nearly perfect so far, Tony Romo has to bounce back from the 6 turnover game against Buffalo and there's Moss versus Owens.

I have Dallas picked to win for some reason and I guess it has to do with the fact that they ended Indy's unbeaten streak last season and because they're at home.

Either way, I just saw my Dolphins take another pounding and right now I just want to be entertained with a decent game. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms are our commentators and we are underway...

• Holy crap. New England goes for the homerun ball on their first offensive play but Brady overthrows Randy Moss. It was a fake reverse and Moss had a few steps on the defender but Brady just missed that one. Not something you can say very often about the Stetson man.

• The Pats are in the redzone and the pass goes incomplete after Brady and Jabar Gaffney get their signals crossed up. When you have Moss, Stallworth, Welker and Benjamin Watson, I see no reason why you would even have Gaffney on the field. There must of been a mix up there or Bill Belichick just feels like toying with the Cowboys today.
  

• And there's the touchdown. Brady realizes that he has Randy Moss to throw to and finds him in the endzone for the score. Pats lead 7-0, Moss catches his eight TD pass of the year and the camera finds Terrell Owens writing another letter to the media.

• Rodney Harrison sacks Tony Romo and the Cowboys have to punt. Harrison then takes out a gun and empties it into Romo's chest and then follows that by telling us that he's not a dirty player.

• DeMarcus Ware just had a strangest sack I've seen in a long time. Ware must have thought that Brady already threw the ball when he got there and he just shoved Brady and Brady went to the ground. You just don't see the shove-sack that much anymore...

• Dreamboat connects with Benjamin Watson for a 29-yard completion and it was Roy Williams that got burned by Benjamin. I mean, how much longer before Roy Williams gets moved to linebacker because the man can't even cover my dead hamster.

• And just like that it's 14-0. Brady finds Wes Welker for a 35-yard touchdown pass and I'm happy that my Dolphins didn't think it was necessary to resign Welker in the off-season. Speaking of my Dolphins, they'll be playing New England next week and the Patriots should be favored by about 35 in that one.
  

• The camera man shows us Robert Kraft sitting in his suite and sharing a snack with Kate Hudson. So, it's not enough that he's filthy rich and headed for his 4th Super Bowl this decade, but he gets to spend his afternoon with Kate Hudson while his team dismantles the Cowboys in front of a national audience. Meanwhile I'm shirtless, flacid and my only companions are severe depression and a bunny that hates me.
  

• Marion Barber leads a decent Dallas drive and it finished with a field goal from the guy with the massive testicles. New England leads 14-3 and I feel pretty stupid for picking Dallas right now.

• With Kurt Warner and David Carr both hurt, the Cards-Panthers game now has Vinny Testaverde and Tim Rattay at quarterback. I would make a joke right here but that would be mean on my part. It would be like making fun of a crippled baby.
  

• Oh crap, what a turn of events. The Pats try a flea flicker and Brady just overthrows Moss in the endzone. A slightly better throw from Brady and its a touchdown. On the very next play the Cowboys force a Brady fumble and its returned 29 yards for a touchdown. Instead of it being 21-3, its a 14-10 game and the Cowboys have a little something called momentum.

• We get a shot from Wade Phillips' dad Bum Phillips sitting in the crowd. I've been wanting to change my name to "Bum" for years now and this actually convinces me even more that I should do it. People called "Bum" just enjoy life more I guess.

• And the Patriots answer right back. Brady finds Welker for his second touchdown and New England leads 21-10. I'll say it again, it's just lovely that my Dolphins gave up on this Welker guy.

• Tony Romo ain't shy about slinging passes out there. Romo's leading the Cowboys on a nice drive down the field and he's just zipping passes in there to Jason Witten. If I had thrown 5 interceptions on a Monday Night game, I'd probably develop some sort of phobia and I would have shoved my throwing arm right up my colon.

• Touchdown Dallas. New England gambles by bringing everyone on the blitz and Romo just manages to get it to Terrell Owens. Two Pats defenders hit into each other and Owens prances into the endzone. New England 21, Dallas 17, there's 40 seconds to go in the first half and this is exactly what we expected from this game.