RONALDINHO WILL PARTY IN BARCELONA SOME MORE

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

World's used to be "Best Soccer player in the World" Ronaldinho has had a recent struggle with "getting his party-boy", but that won't stop Barcelona - FC from holding onto the player with the most potential on the club:

Barcelona reiterated Wednesday that Brazilian star Ronaldinho is not for sale, despite new press rumours announcing his imminent departure. Madrid sports daily AS claimed the twice world player of the year was "on the market" and could even leave during January's transfer window. Ronaldinho has come under fire in the press for some time now following some abject performances on the pitch and unprofessional behaviour off it. "Ronaldinho is not for sale, neither in December (January), nor June. It's inevitable that he has some problems with his game but we've never thought of selling him," club vice-president Ferran Sorriano told catalan newspaper La Vanguardia.

By that "unprofessional behaviour" (note the British spelling har! har!) they mean his late nights out at the club getting his drink on, and uhh... getting raped afterwards by swarms of rich-envy ladies. The poor guy. Anyways, the news that Barca wants to hold onto him is wonderful. The casual soccer fan (like yours truly), need these players in large markets. It's like Alex Rodriguez, now that he's donned the pinstripes, A-Rod's got to stay in large market cities. It's like an unwritten rule. As far as the Spanish League is concerned, Barcelona and Real Madrid are the tits. They're not as well known as Chelsea and Manchester United, but it's not that far away. It's like humping the B-grade sorority girl. She might not have that body that makes her the "A" and makes you the envy of your friend, but let's be truthful, you're desperate and getting a "B" is way better than what you were expecting.

Anyways, I hope the "Buck-Toothed One" can finally get his act together... at least on the pitch. When I heard Henry was heading to Barcelona, I was stoked dude. I was thinking "championship" for sure. The only championship Ronaldinho has seen however, is a bottom of a vodka bottle.