SORRY, IT'S YOUR FAULT YOUR TEAM SUCKS

by Andrew, The Grand National Championships

Maybe the largest side effect of the fantasy football revolution is that people just love talking about their teams. They want you to know how good they are. And if they aren't good?

They want you to know that it's not their fault.

They are 1-4 because of the vicissitudes of the NFL. Drew Brees is useless! Steven Jackson is hurt! Javon Walker is hurt AND useless! It's not my fault!

Okay, first off. Somewhere along the way, you probably did something to screw that up. Unless it's the perfect storm of awful that I proposed right there, you probably went off the board, or waited until round 9 to draft your second runner. Something like that.

Secondly. Fantasy Football is Gambling. It's a game of chance.

Sure, it's like poker in that skill in the game theory can mitigate the luck factor, a.k.a. the fish that drafted his second running back after his kicker isn't likely going to win squat. However, that same fish can stumble blindly into Maurice Jones-Drew circa 2006 in the 16th Round and find himself ending the year in the Super Bowl.

Quite frankly, variance is a bitch goddess in Fantasy Football. You have 75 to 90 percent less time to succeed than you do in the other major fantasy sports. Add to that the inherient violence of the pro game and a high-flying team with a triplets of Tony Romo, Joesph Addai, and Randy Moss can turn into a low bridge of David Garrard, Brian Leonard, and Bobby Wade right quick.

Which brings us to the string of bloggers talking about their team. Why do they do it? Insecurity. Bloggers write to be noticed. They write to be loved. Each and every blogger is a beautiful snowflake.

And subconciously, they want people to tell them that sucks that this bad thing happened to a guy who's tangentially related to you for the Autumn months. They had pocket aces and they lost to the guy holding 9-8 suited. Problem is, they probably did something stupid like make David Carr their third quarterback while the Bears homer did the bad thing and dropped 2006 Drew Brees for Rex Grossman. Or they said to themseleves that Jason Campbell was going to have a big day when a legitimate quarterback was on their roster.

The fact is everything happens for a reason. And we're all human, we all do stupid things. (The guy who sells low on Frank Gore, for example.) The fantasy football gods are not picking on you for some perceived sin. You don't need to share with the world that Nick Folk cost you 4-1.

Embrace the randomness. It really does all even out.

Andrew

P.S. I had to listen to an abortion of a metal band cover "Holy Diver." That's a worse beat than any of you have had to take on your fantasy football teams.