THREE THINGS THAT MAKE ME ANGRY

by T, The Angry T

1. I don’t mind taunting, in fact I love taunting. I just love it when a defensive back sticks a wide receiver after a 15 yard gain and then proceeds to strut around the field for 10 to 15 minutes, doing standing back flips, somersaults, fireworks shows and successfully completing a spin-a-roonie ala Booker T. So, it follows that I loved Travis Johnson’s taunting of an unconscious Trent Green in last week’s Dolphins / Texans game.

Lovely work Travis, it simply not enough that in attempt to block you, Trent Green almost died. No, that's just not enough embarrassment for Trent to endure on a single play. Next, I figure you should steal his wallet, or take a dump on his chest, or jerk off inside his helmet. That way, he will definitely get the message that he shouldn’t ever try to block you again. The grade three concussion probably didn’t send a bid enough message in the first place. Clown.

2. My hometown Detroit Tigers picked up the 2008 option on Ivan Rodriguez contract for a cool 13 million dollars. I applaud Pudge and his agent for getting 13 million dollars out of Mike Ilitch. There was a time when old man Ilitch wouldn’t loosen the purse strings for anyone not on ice skates. Now, the crazy bastard is willing to give 13 million for "the league's best defensive catcher" that throws out 30% of his runners, good for 11th in the league among full time catchers. Pudge hit .281, which is admirable, and 20 points below his career average, but he only walked nine times in the entire season. This guy was never Ricky Henderson or Barry Bonds in terms of base on balls, but nine walks in a full-season? Where is Eddie Gaedel when you need him?

Pudge had the Tigers over a barrel and he knew it. The organization doesn’t have anyone to take over the catcher position this year, despite the “emergence” of Mike Rabelo. Personally, I don’t think many, or any, other teams would have given the guy 13 million, but at least now the Tigers have a aging catcher making huge money with declining skills and an inability to take a walk. That is a equation for a championship if I have ever heard one.

3. Vinny Testaverde signed with the Carolina Panthers. Zach Crockett signed with the Buccaneers. The entire scouting departments of both of these teams should be fired and blackballed from ever working in football again. How can there be not one on either roster that is better suited to play football then these two retreads? Testaverde was picked number one overall in the 1987 NFL draft. THE 1987 NFL DRAFT! There has to be someone younger, more skilled and less dead that Vinny Testaverde. What about Zach Crockett? This guy has played in 176 games and rushed for a total 1,701 yards overall, good for around 10 yards a game. He isn’t good, how many teams have to pick him up before the league realizes that he isn’t playing for a reason? Was Icky Woods or Timmy Smith not available? How about Ottis Anderson? Is he dead? I can’t remember.

I have a feeling that Steve DeBerg is sitting next to his phone, just waiting for a GM to call. Fortunately, I have his phone number and the ability to perfectly mimic Lovie Smith’s voice. I’ll let you know how many hours Steve throws me fly patters in the streets of Chicago before he realizes I am not the assistant scouting director for the Bears and the contract he just signed entitles him to a free foot rub from me on his birthday.