TOP 10 SELF-FLAGELLATION CHOICES FOR RED SOX HATERS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. Bone whip to the tendons while watching the JD Drew grand slam

9. Series of small cuts while reading "Top 10 Ways to Celebrate Red Sox Elimination Day" column

8. Binder clips on the nipples while reading Curt Schilling's blog

7. Foot binding while watching the Jonathan Papelbon dance footage

6. Beating your own chest red and raw while watching "Fever Pitch"

5. Wearing a crown of thorns while watching Dane Cook promos

4. Taking a fistful of laxatives while reading Bill Simmons, for that maximum weight loss

3. Hunger striking until the Red Sox are eliminated (warning: could be fatal)

2. Caning after reciting the names of various Red Sox players (Crisp, Lugo, Drew, Gagne, Hinske) with the words "World Champion"

1. Judas Cradle while reading Red Sox sports blogs