TOP 10 WORLD SERIES STORIES THAT WILL START AT INSUFFERABLE AND GET MUCH WORSE WITH REPETITION

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. Did you know that the Red Sox won a World Series in 2004, and hence have loads more experience at winning the World Series? (This is a major advantage. Just ask the 2005 White Sox, the 2003 Marlins, or the 2002 Angels...)

9. Jon Papelbon. He's wacky! He's Irish! He's dancing! Meanwhile, Colorado closer Manny Corpas just held up a liquor store while wearing women's clothing. We'll have the story in a few hours, after we've shown Pap dancing a few dozen more times.

8. The Rockies are filled with born-again types, while the Red Sox are clearly devotees of Satan. No, wait! Actually it turns out that the Red Sox also have some Jeezers on the roster. Phew, I was worried that we weren't going to be able to mix religion into this!

7. Gosh, these teams are different! One team has a fan base that goes back over a century. The other has fans that have been watching their team for well over a decade -- which is to say, they have no fans, really.

6. No one knows who the Rockies are! And despite days of being able to tell you, your sports media will just repeat that they are not well known. Don't you love reporting without actual reporting?

5. The Rockies have won a lot of games! Does that make them hot, too hot, or ready to cool down? (Answer: The Red Sox are a 2-to-1 favorite to win. So we know what the betting public thinks...)

4. Ticket Mania! Over eight million requests on the Rockies Web site for tickets! And yes, they were all from New England! Thanks for asking!

3. Baseball in Denver in October! Will it be cold? Could there be snow? Is this an unmitigated horror that shows that the world is going to hell in a handbasket? All signs point to YES!

2. In the NL park, the teams will play by National League rules -- which means David Ortiz has to play first if the Sox want his bat in the lineup. Is Ortiz better at first base defensively than many people think, does this prove that Bud Selig is a menace for not making the rules universal, and does this give the Rockies an unfair home field advantage? (We'd tell you, but we've got a whole other day of non-coverage hype to fill here. Have a heart.)

1. Which celebrities are rooting for each team, and can we somehow get them to talk about their fan loyalties?