TOP TEN YANKEE HEADLINES THAT WILL DISTRACT VIEWERS FROM THE WORLD SERIES

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Just in time for Game Five of the ALCS, the Yankees finally got around to the end of the Joe Torre Era, leading many observers to wonder if the timing was set up to distract the sports media's attention on the Red Sox-Indians series. What headlines does the team have planned to keep the focus on them during the upcoming World Series?

10. THE YANKEES NEW MANAGER IS... a new reality show that's on YES at the same time as those boring World Series games. Text your vote to see who gets voted off!

9. A-ROD TELETHON! The Yankees hold a 24-hour telethon to raise funds and awareness for A-Rod. Scott Boras Hosts!

8. STEIN DEATHWATCH! Not that he's sick or even ailing, but damn, IMAGINE THE HEADLINES! Can you cough a little more for us, Boss?

7. CLEMENS RETIREMENT WATCH! What, you mean this story has been happening for ten years? That just means it's a Big Story!

6. JOBA SAYS NO! The Yankees stud young reliever announces something about starting or relieving that won't matter until February, and could change any number of times before then, and yet it's still a story. God bless America!

5. JOE TALKS SOME MORE! What's he thinking now? What will he be thinking tomorrow? Is he going to be hired by some other team? Will that team change its name to The Yankees, just to spite the Yankees? Some say YES!

4. SUZYN GOES NUTSO! Distraught over the lack of Joe in her life and the constant harassment of mean sports bloggers like us, the YES announcer is riding and shooting. Stay indoors!



(And the follow-up from the geniuses at the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society...)



3. MASSIVE MOVES! OK, so these can't actually happen until later this winter, but that doesn't really have to stop anyone from writing that THE YANKEES HAVE SIGNED JOHAN SANTANA, does it? No, dammit, IT DOES NOT.

2. EARTH-SHAKING NEW STADIUM NEWS! In that, well, earth was shaking. Look, dirt!

1. NEW MANAGER TURMOIL! Is the guy who didn't get the job annoyed? Let's ask him until he, and the rest of the First World, is!