WAIT A MINUTE...NASCAR FANS ARE DIRTY?

by T, The Angry T

If the survey takers at Family Feud were to ask 100 people who the most diseased sports fans are, the survey would most definitely say: NASCAR fans. Apparently, some people agreed with this Family Feud logic. Some Washington political staffers thought it would be a good idea to get booster shot or two before entering into the wonderful world of NASCAR.

Democratic House staffers, who were attending the Bank of America 500 race as part of a fact-finding mission of health and homeland security issues, took the unusual step of getting inoculated against several rare diseases and a sexually transmitted illness.

Republican staffers refused the shots, saying they are not necessary.

Hopefully, the fact finding mission mentioned in this article involved DNA analysis of the 400 million cigarette butts that were deposited on site during the race. Also, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to do a hair analysis on one of the mullets in attendance to see if that awful, yet mesmerizing hair style is actually contagious.

In all honesty, I am offended that these people would be offended. Are you telling me that this man (right) isn’t diseased in some way:

This article also states that they this fact finding mission from Washington was also hoping uncover information on homeland security issues. I am fairly sure that these people (see below) are completely harmless in every way. Even if they did hatch a plot of threaten America, they would have to scrap it because it would interfere with Coca-Cola 600 at Talladega. And even if it didn’t fall on the same dates, they would be much to drunk to actually finish the job. And even if they weren’t to drunk to the do the job, it would take thousands of 2 liters with filled with Draino and tin foil would it take to do some real damage, since real explosives and the science behind them is way our of their intellectual grasp.

So, NASCAR fans, are you really offended that people want to be immunized before they come to your events? How about you clean things up a bit and get rid of the riff-raff. Clean it up NASCAR, and get your fans come class, just like NFL fans. (Scroll down at look at the video: Everyone MUST Go To A Bills Game And Tailgate.)