AROUND THE WORLD OF SEXUAL ASSAULTS BY ATHLETES

by Kyle Smith, Doberman On The Diamond

As Adam Sandler said in Billy Madison when one of the kids double-dared him to touch the teacher's boobs: "That's assault, brother." It seems like a fairly simple concept for people to grasp. Most of us learned in kindergarten to keep our hands to ourselves. It's pretty simple - unless you are invited to, then no touchy. Alas, a few athletes, former athletes and coaches (not to mention one reality TV star) seem incapable of remembering this.

- A former TCU basketball player, 20 year old Shannon Behling, was indicted for a sexual assault that took place last year in a TCU dorm room. He allegedly called a girl to come over, and one of his buddies, another former TCU basketball player named Virgil Taylor, spiked her drink:

"Police have said Taylor lured the woman to his dorm room on the pretext of repaying her money he owed her. There, the woman told police, she was given a sports drink that caused her to pass out ... The woman told police she awoke briefly to find Taylor having sex with her."

- This is not an athlete, but many people may know Bam Margera's uncle, "Don Vito," from the MTV series "Viva La Bam" that follows Bam around as he does moronic stuff. Unfortunately for Vito, he's going to the slammer, and he was none too happy about it.

"A jury delivered a split verdict of guilty on two counts of sexual assault on a child ... Margera had been accused of groping three young girls — one 14-year-old and two 12-year-olds — at an autograph signing at a Colorado mall in August 2006 ... soon as the first guilty count came down, Margera fell or threw himself backwards and hit the ground, making a loud noise, causing some furniture to fly ... Margera yelled out, 'you might as well kill me now,' as well as, 'I can't f---ing spend the rest of my life in jail,' 'you cops lied' and 'you can rot in f---ing hell!'" (You can see photos of him groping women who are over 18 here. You know, if you're into that kind of stuff.)

- In a sting much like the one everyone in America has seen on the "To Catch A Predator" television show, Joseph Carroll, a current student and former pitcher for Georgia was arrested for planning to have sex with a 15-year-old girl he was talking to on the internet. Only that 15-year-old was a police officer, and he got put behind bars.

"Once he was arrested we found the Google map directions and prescription male enhancements Viagra and Levitra in the vehicle, Peachtree City Police Chief Jim Murray said."

Some others:

- A former team physician for Naval Academy sports teams is on trial for secretly videotaping students having sex at his home, where he was a "midshipman sponsor, hosting roughly a dozen students under the program where midshipmen spend weekends off campus at private homes to relax."

- A high school football player sexually assaulted an unconscious 15-year-old girl.

- And in an odd, sort of funny-in-a-sick-way case, a man who "claims to be a sports enthusiast, who loves football," was charged with having sex with a 92-year-old woman ... who was dead.