THE BEER TENT: 'TIS THE SEASON FOR TROUBLE

by dswinder, Sons of Sam Malone

Here at Epic Carnival, we meet weekly under The Beer Tent to shoot the shit. I, dswinder, will be the ringleader, but you can join in on the discussion every Tuesday at 3ish.

Oh, the Holiday season. There's nothing like it. Why, with smells of mistletoe, gingerbread, Christmas trees, and coaching vacancies wafting by our nostrils, well, it's enough to drive any man into a state of eternal bliss.

Though its still early, we've already been treated to a horn o' plenty of college football head coaching job openings. Even Ole Miss gave their General the boot, and we all know they rarely rotate coaches (five since '93). Now that Orgeron is out, the Rebels are left with a vacancy in the midst of the SEC. Wait. My sources tell me that Ole Miss shall want no longer. It appears they've landed the Nutts.

Yes, as you've surely already had roll through your feed reader, the Ole Miss Rebels have filled the seat left open by departing Ed Orgeron with recent Arkansas resigner, Houston Nutt.

Oh Ole Miss, what ethics you have. Oh, how you fire coaches after you've exhausted the cause for hiring them in the first place (see: David Cutcliffe/Eli Manning graduation). Oh, how you easily forget what it means to have five winning seasons, going 44-29, while bringing the university its first ten win season in three decades. Oh, how quickly you lose all memory of certain text messages when hiring a replacement for Eddy O.

What? You forgot? Surely no one fails to remember that Houston Nutt has a history of being quite textually active with a certain blond media member.

Oh, it's not that the Rebels forgot that they want to put academics first. It's not that the texts slipped their minds. No, I think it's more that teams today are willing to sacrifice ethics for the sake of what they see as winning by way of a trouble maker.

Like Ole Miss, the Indiana Hoosiers enjoy throwing ethos out the door. Yes, IU possesses quite the fondness for recruiting violations. Kelvin Sampson anyone?

Sampson didn't just break official rules while coaching Oklahoma, making hundreds of illegal phone calls to recruits. He also managed to step on the collective toes of the Big Ten, and break the unwritten code of recruiting within the conference. One would think it reasonable enough to expect coaches within your conference to back off players who have already given a verbal commitment elsewhere within the same conference. One would think. But not to ole Kelvin. You see, just in case anyone forgot, Kelvin Sampson thought it perfectly ethical to heavily recruit Eric Gordon, drawing the top recruit away from conference rival, Illinois.

And I won't begin to address Alabama and Nick Satban.

But this complete lack of ethics isn't an epidemic trapped within the confines of college athletics. Lest you forget the Miami Dolphins just recently showed their willingness to give second, third, fourth, and five millionth chances to a player who has an unhealthy obsession with the ganj. Sure the Phins are off to an 0-11 start (0-10 pre-Ricky), but does a running back who's been out of the league for two years really remedy a situation as pitiful as they have going in Miami? Apparently not. After that 6 rushes for 15 yards and coming up injured performance last night, it looks like the Dolphins will find themselves in need of a new trouble maker with which to fix this problem of a team. May I suggest Maurice Clarett?

No, it's definitely not Alzheimer's or any other form of memory loss to blame for these ridiculous hirings. The blame can be laid solely on the backs of a lack of ethical fortitude. Well, that and maybe the scent of mistletoe, gingerbread, and Christmas trees.