CRAZY ANDREW'S HOUSE OF FREE AGENCY

by Andrew, The Grand National Championships

You're in a world. You have a need for some help, yes? You want somebody good, yes? I can help! I know a guy who knows what to do!

Me, baby!

I can get you a power arm for the middle relief. I can get you an arm that could go and close on your candy ass! I can get you upside for the low, low price of a NON-ROSTER INVITEE!

HUZZAHS! HUZZAH I SAY!

NAME: Francisco Cruceta
POS.: Pitcher
THROWS: Right
AGE: 26

Fransisco has a repertoire that generates strikeouts. He has a power slider, a good fastball that can tickle 95-MPH and a solid splitter that gets outs. The issue? His command. He doesn't repeat his arm angle and he can generate walks in scads. (40 in 65 IP last year).

However, he spent last season in Oklahoma City and he was great. (When he was not PED BanHammered, anyway). He had 75 strikeouts and a 3.05 ERA in the Pacific Coast League. He was non-tendered or designated for assignment, or something like that.

But the fact of the matter is, Cruceta has not hit his prime yet. He's been buried, and a team that's in need of some bullpen help will take home a winner if they get in the Cruceta business!

If not? Go fuck yourself.

LOOKIT ME AND MY EDGY SWEARS!