DEAR TWINKIES MANAGEMENT

by Simon, SimonOnSports

Dear Twinkies Management,

Hey Mr. GM guy, it's me Joe Nathan your perennial all star closer and I just want you guys to know that I'm still on your roster and I have terrific value. I mean just look at my stats, they are great. I have a 1.94 ERA and a 160 saves over the last 4 seasons, that's just about tops in the league. I'm even an All-American just look at my picture. Who wouldn't want that? Everyone could use a solid bullpen guy, if you like I can run off a few contenders really quickly that could use one, but I'm sure you guys already know. You know one just so happens to start with a T and end in an igers another starts with a C and ends with an ubs. But I digress.

I'm just letting you guys know that I'm not getting any younger and I am 33 years old. Plus this is the last year you guys can underpay me, I mean 7 guys make more money than me and if Francisco Cordero can get 11.5 million dollars per year imagine what I'm going to get on the open market. Unlike Cordero I haven't been dumped from the closers spot and traded in the past two years because I haven't sucked since I've been on your team. In simpler terms I'm awesome he sucks and I get paid 5.5 million less. Let's be honest you can't really afford to pay me the 12+ million dollars a year I will want and command for perhaps my last pay day of my career.

I'm not saying that I'm demanding a trade, don't think that at all, I don't mind playing in this hideous dome or living in the Arctic Circle, I'm just saying that if you trade Johan it might be a decent idea to find out what you can get for me. You guys know you aren't going to want to shell out big money for me next year and I wouldn't want you to, I know you guys have to invest your funds in Joe and Justin, again I am 33 years old. And I'm great, you could definitely get an A-level prospect for me maybe even more.

I guess that's all I have to say. Is that if you guys make the correct decision and decide to trade me to a contender who is willing to pay me more than 6 god damn million dollars a year than I would completely understand.

Your 2nd Best Pitcher and Trading Chip,
Joseph Michael Nathan