FLOWERY LANGUAGE IS FOR DOUCHES

by The Original JD, Six Pack Sports Report

Greg Easterbrook is a douche. He is a the worst type of "journalist" in that his entire schtick seems to be based on personal agenda and vendetta's that he has for certain individuals. It is one thing for the guys over at Kissing Suzy Kolber to call Bill Belichick the anti-Christ and call for a bounty on the knees of Tom Brady. Those guys aren't being paid by ESPN, the World Wide Leader as it were. Gregg Easterbrook doesn't just hold some sort of personal hatred for Bill Belichick he has legitimately gone over the deep end. I know it's a fools mission to even discuss Easterbrook because he obviously doesn't care about things like facts, and respect, or integrity and because of that what good does it do to show how wrong he is - but I wanted to point something out about what he wrote concerning the Patriots throttling of the Washington Redskins just to show how Easterbrook has let his personal agenda infect his writing.

In a nationally televised game, Bill Belichick went out of his way to display bad sportsmanship; it was especially coarse that Belichick sought to humiliate Hall of Fame coach Joe Gibbs, a mild-mannered, dignified man who always treats others respectfully.

I just wanted to take a little exception to this thought proposed by Easterbrook by referring him to some Washington Redskins historical records. You see in 1991 (you may all remember that as the year the Skins won the Super Bowl) Joe Gibbs was in charge of the best offense in football. They won games that season 45-0, 34-0, 42-17, 56-17, 41-14, and 34-17 just to name a few. Do these numbers prove anything? Not really, but I'm sure if you asked the 1991 Atlanta Falcons how they felt about the Redskins scoring 21 fourth quarter points against them when the score was already 35-17 and they had put their backup quarterback into the game (see: Favre, Brett) how they felt they'd be pretty embarrassed.

But I don't even want to talk about the idea that Joe Gibbs is so dignified while Bill Belichick in turn represents all that is evil in professional football because once again it's not the point of this piece or the piece that Easterbrook writes. See if you've ever spent time trying to digest the swill that the TMQ tries to spew then you'll notice that his hatred of Bill Belichick centers around his unsportsmanlike demeanor. How does Easterbrook plan on changing this? Funny you should ask:

"You certainly can ask why the Redskins, especially tastefully named Gregg Williams, took their humiliation at New England so passively. If it were 38-0 in the fourth quarter and the other side still had its starting quarterback on the field throwing deep, I would have called a double safety blitz and slammed Brady to the ground...If that's true, no one from New England could have complained if Williams had called an all-out blitz to hammer Brady."

Interesting that someone who is so focused on the unsportsmanlike behavior of the New England Patriots would determine that the best course of action for opposing teams is to send an all out blitz after Tom Brady and slam him to the ground. I guess scoring 52 points in a professional football game is over the line, but taking potential cheap shots at the star players for the opposing team falls right under the rules of engagement right Gregg?

This is the theme that seems to be spreading around the Internet these days - that if the Patriots continue to run up the score against opposing teams someone is going to take a cheap shot, or roll the ankle/knee/leg of Brady or some other valuable New England player as retaliation. I love that this is proposed by people and I love even more that it's probably true because it shows just how petty people can be. Isn't this just a sanctioned temper tantrum? You don't get what you want so you go outside the rules to prove a point? Oh we couldn't stop the Patriots offense so instead of taking out beating like men, we decided to send Shawn Springs on a safety blitz and roll the left leg of Tom Brady (EDIT: It has been brought to my attention by some sexual predator that Shawn Springs is a cornerback and not a safety. It was tough for me to make that distinction watching touchdown passes soar over his head all afternoon) - that'll show them to be unsportsmanlike.

Sure it might send a message to the Patriots - that message of course will be that you're just not good enough to beat us on the field so you're going to take cheap shots to show how tough you are. It's not like this prospect of hurting Tom Brady is equal pay for what the Patriots are doing because it's not. The Patriots are fully within the rules of the NFL - they're playing 100% when they're on the field and if the other teams in the NFL can't handle that then like I said yesterday maybe we should institute a mercy rule for these poor saps who can't play defense.

Instead columnists, former players, current players, and everyone else involved believe that something terrible might happen to one of the players on the Patriots offense. I love that people talk about how horrible the Patriots are because they're not acting with respect, or they're unsportsmanlike - and then they propose to intentionally injure one of the Patriots players. Give me a fucking break would you?

The reason why Joe Gibbs said he didn't have a problem with what the Patriots did in the second half of their game is because if the shoe was on the other foot Joe Gibbs would do the same fucking thing. You don't take your foot off the gas pedal while the game is in progress, especially when the other team is still trying to do what they do. You think Joe Gibbs could have called off the horses when his team in 1991 was up by three scores in the fourth quarter? Of course they could have - but they didn't because this is football at the professional leve, not pop warner. You shouldn't put together a game plan with the purpose being not to embarrass the other team - it's a fucking competition the whole point is to embarrass the other team, and if they can't grow a pair of nuts and stop you from doing it then they deserve to have it happen.

But for the fans, and for anyone else to say that the best way to show the Patriots how wrong what they're doing it, and how unsportsmanlike they are acting is by rolling the knee of Tom Brady you're a fucking dolt. The best way to show the Patriots how wrong what they're doing is either by nutting up and coming up with a way to beat them, or by keeping that tape under your pillow so that the next time you play against them you can perform better and make sure you don't go home with your tail between your legs.

Enough with the temper tantrum crybaby shit though because it makes you look foolish. I'm sick of hearing about how Joe Gibbs wouldn't have done what the Patriots did yesterday because yes he would have. Maybe Tony Dungy didn't run the score up the other day against Carolina but if you try and tell me one time that the Colts didn't intentionally throw the ball when it was not necessary during Peyton's chase for the touchdown record I will find where you live and sodomize you - because you're a blind idiot. You do not sit around and complain about how the other team didn't let you keep your dignity. You just nod your head, admit defeat and move the fuck on.

Sooner or later the Patriots are going to suck again and if you want to get revenge for what Belichick did to you then that's fine. But don't try and tell me that the sportsmanlike thing to do is to roll the leg of the starting quarterback because you're not getting your way and you feel embarrassed. I didn't realize that the NFL had turned into youth soccer in Massachusetts but if we're getting to a point where there is no longer score kept because people are getting their feelings hurt then I think I'm just going to tape some steaks to my chest and jump into a lions cage at the zoo because I don't want to live in a world where multi-million dollar athletes feel they are being shown up when they can't compete on the field.

(Originally published 10/30)