FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: BRINGIN' REXY BACK...YECK!

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

Somehow, a large percentage of Chicago Bears fans are enthusiastic about the return of Rex Grossman. Yes, the same Rex Grossman they bashed all last season as he helped bring the team to the Super Bowl and the same Rex Grossman whose head they were calling for as the team got off to a horrible start, until Brian Griese came in and righted the ship.

Shockingly, Brian Griese was injured. That revelation ranks right up there along side water being wet and Barry Bonds being a liar.

Wake up Bears fans! This isn't a good thing. Just because the Return of Grossman can make for a fun play on a dynamite Justin Timberlake track doesn't mean it's a good thing. So what if he led the team to a comeback win last week, it was over the Raiders, and they're shit!

The interesting thing about the Rise and Fall of Rex Grossman is that his shortcomings as an NFL Quarterback aren't really his fault. I mean, his parents are to blame for him being a midget and potentially for his incredibly frail muscles and ligaments and tendons that kiboshed his first two seasons when he should have been learning to be a real QB.

Ultimately though, the reason he isn't any good - and he isn't any good people - comes down to his choice of schools... and he picked Florida. You know, Florida, the school that has produced exactly ZERO quality NFL Quarterbacks. Don't believe me? Here's a list:

• Jesse "The Bachelor" Palmer
• Danny Wuerffel
• Steve Spurrier
• Shane Matthews
• Brian Schottenheimer
• Chan Gailey
• Chris Leak
• Kerwin "CFL" Bell

See anyone remotely good in that list? Shane Matthews was serviceable as a backup and spot starter, but that's about it.

Lemme put it to you this way: Rex Grossman is the football equivalent of Ron Mercer. Remember Ron Mercer? Huge star at Kentucky, high draft pick of the Boston Celtics, colossal waste of time in the NBA. Yep, that's Grossman for ya...

You have fun Bringin' Rexy Back Chi-town... I look forward to finding him discarded on the side of the road somewhere around Week 14.