Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: MARK MADSEN IS A BAD, BAD BASKETBALL PLAYER


by wwtb?, Pacifist Viking

I don't want to alarm any of you, but there is something you should know.

Mark Madsen is starting in NBA basketball games.

I know. This is a scary thought to us all. But this season, he has started four games for the Timberwolves.

So far this season, he's played in five games and started four. He's 1-7 from the field and 0-4 from the free throw line. He's averaging 0.4 points, 2.8 rebounds, and 1.8 personal fouls.

Some deluded souls praise Madsen for his effort. What they don't get is, Mark Madsen is such a horrible basketball player, everything he does out there requires incredible amounts of effort. For him to run up and down the floor and occasionally catch the ball without falling down in a heaping wreck requires hustle and concentration.

Just try to comprehend how bad a basketball team has to be to start Mark Madsen. No, let's go one better: try comprehend how stupid a coach has to be to start Mark Madsen.

Mark Madsen sucks. He has always sucked, and he will always suck. He doesn't bring anything positive to a basketball team, and anything good that happens to the Timberwolves in the future won't come from Madsen. Randy Wittman insists on putting this travesty of a basketball player out on the court, taking minutes away from some of the young talented players that could someday be important to the franchise.

So now I plead with you, Timberwolves (that's me in the picture at the top of the post, on bended knee begging for mercy): please, please, please stop inflicting Mark Madsen upon us. Haven't we been through enough? You took Kevin Garnett away from us, but you keep providing us with Mark Madsen? This is inhumane!

3 comment(s):

More Credible said...

What a beast.

Boognish said...

I love Mad Dog. He was an animal last night against Duncan. He played great defense and really got under Duncan's skin.

It's not a good sign that he's our starter, but I like having him on this team.

Go Wolves!!

Go Mad Dog!!!

Sooze said...

Ah, but he's a hell of a dancer.

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