PROFILE: FORGOTTEN NBA LEGEND BOB THORNTON

by Tbone, The Sports Hernia

Bob George Thornton

Height: An extremely unimposing 6'10"

Weight: A gutsy 225 lbs.

Hair: Seemingly flowing, but running for the hills

Teams: Knicks, Sixers, T'wolves, Jazz, Bullets

Stats: When broken out into actual numbers, Bob Thornton's career stats of 3 points, 2 rebounds, 0.1 blocks and 2 fouls per game can be somewhat misleading. It was Thornton's entrance into a game, particularly during his Philadelphia days, where he actually made a difference. The uncomfortable roar of hate from the crowd was so present throughout the arena, not to mention the flying debri, that it willed his teammates to take their game to another level, to do something that might drown out the boos, like throw the ball off a defender's forehead, catch the deflection and dunk over the opposing team's center, all while waving to the crowd. Simply put, for those 12 minutes a game he averaged, Thornton had that innate ability to make everyone around him infinitely better.

Comparable athlete: Kevin Nealon; your dad

Shining moments:

• Played at one point in his career with fellow awful white centers Gheorghe Muresan, Mike Gminski, Jim McIlvaine and Pat Cummings (impressively true). Unfortunately for us, they were never together on the floor at the same time.
• Was the personal barber for Mike Gminski's beard from 1988-1990.
• Had a threesome with Heather Locklear & Heather Thomas the night he was picked 87th in the 1984 draft.
• Was Charles Barkley's teammate in Philly for three seasons and wasn't decapitated.
• Responsible for encouraging Manute Bol to dunk his own balls.
• In the 1991-92 season had more field goal attempts (7) than minutes played (6). Sadly, this is true.
• Played a combined 3,832 minutes in Philly & New York, all while being taunted and booed.
• Boldly stuck to the part-in-the-middle look despite Jack Sikma's perm revolution.