THE STAR IS MISSING

by Simon, SimonOnSports

Dear Ike the Sexual Harasser,

Yo Ike, I STARbury am not down with this whole decrease in playing time talk. I STARbury am a star, I say crazy things like I make out with my sister, I make cheap shoes for the masses and am getting boned by Steve & Barry's new deal with that biatch Venus Williams. I'm even prettier than that bitch. And now you disrespect me. Not STARting? See that, there's a star there. STAR, for STARbury. Like my shoes and apparel line, you don't got no apparel line and if you did it would be the I sexually harassed a 250 lb. woman line. And nobody is buying that crap. Hell even the Larry Brown suitcase would sell better than your line, and I hate that old white douche.

You want me to take the fall for this shit team you put together, screw that I ain't showin up. You see who I'm playing with. Eddy Curry, fat slob. Zach Randolph, double doubles are overrated. My 8 year old cousin is as tall as Nate Robertson. Everyone knows Balkman's a bum. Mardy Collins? Come on. David Lee, I don't do white moderately athletic teammates. Jamal Crawford? Dude plays no defense either, plus he can't pass. Does anyone come to a game to see defense? Defense? They come to see a STAR. I am the STAR, hence the name. Nobody else is the STAR.

You bitter about the Sexual Harassment thing? I at least boned the White Broad, what you do just say a few in appropriate comments? STARBURY is greater than Ike the Sexual Harasser. See that's a math equation, I'm even smarter than you.

The STAR is going to the Bahamas and still rolling in bling. I'm out.