THINGS THAT MAKE ME ANGRY: RUNNING BACK EDITION

by T, The Angry T

1. People talking about Ricky Williams – Tony Kornheiser must have been hoping and praying that Ricky Williams was reinstated in time for Monday’s Pittsburgh Steelers / Miami Dolphins game. As soon as he got on the field we were treated to holier-than-thou diatribe about how the only thing that kept Ricky from a Hall of Fame career was his love of the chronic. Good, great, grand Tony, you really made your point, and by your point, I mean someone else’s point that has been repeated a good three thousand times since Ricky left the Dolphins before the 2004 season.

Ricky decided he didn’t want to play football anymore. Of course he was also being shoved out the door by drug suspensions, but the fact of the matter was that the guy was just tired of playing football. Ricky is in a situation that maybe .1 percent of us will ever experience. He is world class at a game he really doesn’t enjoy playing. That is a paradox that very few people, including Kornheiser, have taken the time to wrap to wrap their minds around. Most of us dream of playing professional sports, and this is a guy that can play them at an All-Star level, but is fairly disinterested in doing so.

He attempted to make his money and just ride off into the sunset. Then he realized that at this point in this life he probably doesn’t have any other discernible talent that could earn him money. But why should he be looked down upon because he doesn’t care to do exactly what you would go with his gd-given ability? Who are you Kornheiser to tell this guy that he has to play football and like it because he is fast and strong? Maybe you need to chill-out a smoke a day Tone, I hear Ricky’s got the good shit.

2. The uselessness of having a good running back in the NFL – Note to NFL teams: There is absolutely no reason to have a big name running back on your roster, no reason at all. Kolby Smith, Andre Hall and Ryan Grant are lighting the world on fire right now and no one besides the douches in your fantasy league have any clue who these guys are. “Larry Johnson is out, oh no, the sky is falling.” Not to worry, Kolby fricken Smith will step in and rush for 150 yards and 2 TD’s, more than Larry Johnson will rushed for all season.

Go ahead Broncos, sign Travis Henry, sure he might get a skank or two pregnant and smoke some weed. No worries, you have Andre goddamn Hall. Listen Mike McCarthy, I know you drafted Brandon Jackson at pick 31 and he got hurt. No need to fret, Ryan Grant, some bum you picked up of the scrap heap, is going to come in and throw up three 100 yard games in six starts.

Any GM who signs a big name running back not named Adrian Peterson or LaDainian Tomlinson should be fired on the spot at this point. Just draft some clown in the sixth round who was above average in college, get yourself an offensive line, and let the rest take care of itself.

3. Middle relievers signing 19 million dollar contracts – Congratulations to Scott Linebrink for committing “grand theft middle reliever.” For god sakes Kenny Williams, this guy isn’t a closer, in fact, he isn’t even that good. In 2006, he was 5-6 with a 3.71 ERA in 71 games with 50 Ks in 71 innings. Overpowering is not the word I would use to describe this guy.

I would use the word overpaid instead. I would love to see the other offers this guy was getting. Are you telling me there wasn’t another guy in the White Sox organization who could hold hitters to under a .253 batting average for less than five million a year. I have to believe that at least 17 million of that contract was allocated for mustache and goatee maintenance. But don’t worry fans of Kenny and the Sox, it could always be worse, you could be Cubs fans.