THROWING KNIVES: FEELING OVER-SATURATED

by BD, Staff Writer

(It's a bit abbreviated today, but I'll be back at full force with a whole new format come Monday.)

Feeling Over-Saturated..?
I'm not sure if you're aware, but their's this football game on Sunday. It pits a pair of undefeated teams against one another. It's morphed into the equivalent of Kobe mud wrestling Arod at this point. A regular media slob-fest. I get it, with the way things are these days the 4-letter needs something to fill 24 hours of each day, but couldn't they toss more than one thing on repeat? It's bad enough I hope the Lakers remember they didn't give Kobe the no-trade after all, and subsequently ship him to Atlanta for Joe Johnson, Al Horford and Josh Smith. To think, you thought L.A. was bad, try Atlanta. You can't even find Odom's high school equivalent in that smörgåsbord of swing man busts. About the game though, come on people. Martina Hingis tested positive for the white stuff, and looked like a coke whore at her press conference, no less. If that's not something else to talk about - I just don't know what is.

Now, as much as I love the idea of this game. It has me wondering how in the hell these two teams have played so often during the regular season. Isn't their supposed to be a rotation through the divisions? What's that..? Ahh... Nielson ratings. What's with the 4:15 then? Ever think of.. I don't know.. Maybe putting it on nationally. Say, about 8:35ish. Then again, Madden might have a stroke, mid-stroke, if you go tossing a Brady/Manning bukkake in his face. And I'm just not sure Al's adept to deal with such a situation. He might "cut his penis" trying to tuck it away before the medical staff can comb through the hot air to assist him. Fair enough, SNF was definitely not an option...

How about Monday Night Football? Wait... nevermind. It's Eli's off week and I don't think he'll be very amused by Tony's head on stick shtick with his brother's face, either. Not to mention I think us non-New England/Indy fans may erupt into a Hulk-like rage if we had to sit through one more day of hype. Especially when you consider their's a pretty good chance the Pats blow Manning's Mind and win big. Not that I'm predicting anything. I'm hardly a prophet. (Though I'd recommend hitting San Diego -7 @ Minny, if you've got the scratch to spare.)

It's just been one of those weeks. You know what I mean. A week in which every "major" story revolves around a team and/or player you detest. Honestly, for the mid-western sports fan could it have been a more nauseating week? The Red Sox win the World Series? Fine, I can deal with that. It was expected for most of the season anyway. A-Rod Opts out..? Girardi.. Torre... Kobe... Dodgers... Yankees.... It all adds up to a bit of a sensory overload for us Midwesterners, doesn't it? You know the worst part, though? To alleviate said overload we must immediately stab the next person we come into contact with. Suffice to say I'm not in much better shape than Britt Reid at this point.

It just gets to a point of violence sometimes. We all understand that. Now if only we could let the media know that unless Kobe's traded I don't want to hear his name off the court. I just don't care if he's having a colonic to clean himself out after that white girl turned the tables last weekend. If Kobe's getting dominated I don't want to know about it unless Steve Nash and hardwood are involved. Well.. you know what I mean.

The point is.. enough already. We get it! You want us to know Kobe's bowl movements. You need us to memorize the 7 teams Arod might sign with. You just forgot he's being granted his own expansion franchise. The Nebraska Cornholers I believe is what they're planning to call them... yes folks Nebraska where Lee Corso tells us the best fans live. A real touchy feely bunch that will never dare boo The Rod.

Let me end it with this... take the Pats and give the points and just pray they've stopped rehashing it by Wednesday. As I'm not sure how much more over-saturation I can take.

Yesterday In Sports....

T-Mac Slayed The Mormons!
To the tune of 47 points, but until he does in the spring who really cares?

Shaq Pulled A LeBron
And it wasn't playoff LeBron, but rather opening night LeBron. That's right, he went scoreless in the first half. All the while rocking a quality beard.

Sonics Almost Knock Off Suns
Durant drops 27 as his team almost shocked the Suns, but just like the night before the Sonics couldn't get it done late. They'll get there, but it's going to be a little whole. Also in this game.. Grant Hill really doesn't fit the Phoenix system. At least not as a starter. Is their anyone who didn't guess that? Hey Grant, you are not, nor have you have been, a 3-point shooter quit hoisting 'em.

And.. If You Care VT Blitzed G-Tech
Predictably, but it's worth a mention, right?

Weekend Expectations
Pats Cover the 5 At Indy.
Oregon hands ASU their first loss.
Oho State rolls Wisconsin by at least 10.
Neither Miami or St. Louis lose for one week only, as they both have byes.
The Browns add to the Seahawks woes. Entire NFC West subsequently DQ'd from playoff contention.
The Knicks start the season 1-0 (@Cleveland).
The Wizards start 0-2.

(Original Image: SI)