TOM VS LEO FOR THE FAIR LADY

by BOHChris, Blog of Hilarity

Hmm, so apparently, there's trouble a-brewing in Tom Brady town. Much like you and me, his problems primarily involve keeping his supermodel girlfriend in check. Oh star athletes... so like us.

As if Tom Brady doesn't have enough problems dodging 300-pound defensive lineman. Now will the New England Patriots quarterback have to dodge Leo DiCaprio as he communicates with Brady's supermodel sweetie Gisele Bundchen via text message? In Touch Weekly is reporting that the NFL signal caller is unhappy with the entire development.

The magazine reports that there may be a little trouble in paradise for Tom and Gisele and it's in the form of her ex-boyfriend Leonardo! Now that Leo's romance with Israeli model Bar Refaeli is kaput, he's rekindled his friendship with Gisele, 27, and has been texting her a lot., the story claims.

"Leo now realizes what a mistake he made by not marrying Gisele," his pal dishes to the magazine. "He knows she's with Tom, so if he can't have her as a girlfriend, he wants her as a friend."

According to the insider, Tom, 30, is miffed that Leo, 33, is suddenly back in Gisele's life, even though she's assured him that it's just platonic. "Tom is not happy at all that Gisele and Leo are friends again," the insider says.

This is why it's hard dating attractive women. I mean, guys like me and Tom Brady, even with our ridiculous good looks and rich, enchanting odors can end up fighting over a gal with Leonardo DiCaprio. Hey, Leo...you remember when you were playing a homeless kid and jerking off Alan Thicke? Yeah, well, Tom Brady was throwing touchdown passes to fourteen year-olds and NOT jerking off Alan Thicke. So yeah, take THAT DiCaprio.

I have to admit though, I don't get the whole fascination with Gisele. If you're Tom Brady or Leonardo DiCaprio, can't you do approximately as well as a thin, nice bodied, pretty Brazilian girl? I mean, shit, you could even get a tranny and save half-price. That's called being economical. It's important with green issues being so relevant these days. That's my next big campaign... fuck a tranny, save the environment. It'll really resonate with guys that like transsexuals.