TOP 10 FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM CANCERS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

It's one thing to draft a player and have him get lost for the year. That happens and it's hard to take, but there's a reason why fantasy sports are, well, gambling. Football is all about the injuries, really.

No, what really drives you up the wall as a player is where you draft a guy who should be good, and you can't walk away from him. These are the guys that you will have irrational levels of hatred for the rest of their careers. Or, well, will if you are me. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Let's begin the hate with...

10. Rudi Johnson

Pre-draft: A consistent low first round pick who, while you might have worried about his workload, it was highly unlikely that he was going to lose the job. It's not like anyone has ever looked at Kenny Watson and thought #1 RB, right?

Now: He's hitting the hole like Earl Campbell. Earl's 52, and uses a wheelchair.

Prognosis: He has no trade value, and the Bengals have a decent schedule in the playoff weeks... so, enjoy. Or endure.

9. Stephen Jackson

Pre-draft: The consensus 2nd pick in the draft, and the closest thing in the league to vintage Marshall Faulk. Sure, his team didn't look that great, but the division is horrible, and he's the whole show. Draft with confidence!

Now: In and out of the lineup for a team that has absolutely nothing to play for, and no healthy or competent offensive linemen to play with.

Prognosis: Like the 14 remaining Rams fans in the world, hope he has enough pride to come back and keep the team from having a historically awful year. On the bright side, maybe he'll be motivated to protect his job from a high draft pick, a la Dom Davis savings the Texans from Reggie Bush.

8. Marvin Harrison

Pre-draft: Possibly the surest bet on the board, and the consensus 2nd overall pick at WR in a pick-em against Steve Smith.

Now: Reggie Wayne has finally taken over the clear role as #1, as Harrison is battling a bruised knee and missed this week's Armageddon game against the Patriots.

Prognosis: You'd have to think he can bounce back, given his pedigree, but the schedule isn't easy, and it's not like he's the youngest guy on the list. You're hoping for health, and there's no way he gets drafted that high ever again.

7. Laurence Maroney

Pre-draft: A little bit shaky as a first round pick, just because he had never handled a full load before, and the Patriots clearly had so many weapons. But still, they're going to have 10 to 15 rushing touchdowns for the year, and he's bound to get most of those, right?

Now: Wrong. Maroney has gotten into the end zone as much as you or I have this year -- a big, fat zero. And with the Patriots trying to get Brady the all-time single season touchdown record, it's not like they're going to start feeding him the ball in the second half, either.

Prognosis: Your league's trade deadline is probably over, and he's too good to sit. This can't go on for the rest of the year, can it?

6. Frank Gore

Pre-draft: Almost exactly the same story as Stephen Jackson, except that you might have thought a little bit better about the team around him.

Now: Again, see Jackson,

Prognosis: Even worse than Jackson's, in that the Niners have a worse schedule and have already won a game. Plus, it's possible that Alex Smith is worse than Joey Harrington.

5. Marc Bulger

Pre-draft: The best RB in the conference in Jackson. Perhaps the best WR in the conference in Torry Holt. A terrible division. A track record of success, with 3 out of the last 4 years right around 4000 yards. So long as he stays upright, this is money, right?

Now: He didn't stay healthy. And neither did anyone else on his team, especially the linemen. But 8 INTs in 6 games is still, well, 8 INTs in 6 games.

Prognosis: The schedule is still kind, with the Saints, Niners, Seahawks and Falcons coming up. But if you drafted him, you're probably not paying attention anymore, anyway.

4. Chicago defense

Pre-draft: The top defense drafted in Yahoo leagues, they went in the fifth round on average. Even if you thought they'd struggle due to the post-Super Bowl loser letdown, you had to like their chances to make plays with Devin Hester returning kicks, and Jon Kitna, Brett Favre and Tavaris Jackson as the other QBs in the division.

Now: 22nd in the league in points against. A pretty average 25 sacks, with just 5 picks and 8 fumble recoveries. An offense that continually puts them in bad situations. Add it all up, and you've got an utterly ordinary defense that's probably worse than their numbers, given how they do benefit from a freakish 5 blocked kicks. (Bonus pick here: Baltimore, who scores about the same as Chicago.)

Prognosis: If you still have them around, you probably shouldn't. Nothing short of the Broncos game at home on Nov. 25 looks terribly appetizing right now, though maybe they pick it up after this week's bye. (And if this convinces you not to draft a defense early next year, consider it a painful lesson learned.)

3. Cedric Benson

Pre-draft: You weren't in love with him, because of his bad attitude and lack of experience as the only running back... but he was the only running back on a team that should contend. So he'd have to give you 75 yards and a touchdown every other game (or 1200 yards and 8 TDs). That's usually worth a second or third round pick.

Now: Amazingly, he's still the only back, despite a 3.1 yards per carry and 2 touchdowns for the year. So even your pessimistic view was off. You'd have been better off -- a lot better off -- with a nominal non-starter like Marion Barber.

Prognosis: The schedule gets no better for him, and if you are someone in a playoff, you're staring down the barrel of road games in Washington and Minnesota. Hope you've got a better option available -- like Ron Dayne (gulp). On the plus side, you will probably never get to make the mistake of drafting him as a #1 RB again.

2. Chad Johnson

Pre-draft: At worst a top 5 choice, with the ability to put up truly massive numbers on a game by game basis. And for all of the attention that his touchdown celebrations get, he's never had a serious off-field problem, or injury history.

Now: Even before today's scary injury, he's been very erratic, with TJ Houshmandzadeh taking more of the lead role and red zone attention (9 TDs in 2007 already, compared to 9 for all of 2006). It also hasn't helped much that the Bengals have been terrible and can't keep Carson Palmer upright.

Prognosis: The Bengals schedule is very good, but when your WR goes off on a cart, it's not good.

1. Todd Heap

Pre-draft: A consensus top 3 pick at tight end, with Antonio Gates and Tony Gonzalez, and usually went in the 5th to 6th round.

Now: 200 yards and a touchdown for the year, and day to day and not playing for over a freaking month. In tonight's game against the Steelers, after a bye, he's still a "game-time decision" due to a problematic thigh. Hey, Todd? I think I can speak for all of your owners when I say this: In regards to your game-time decision, go with the heavy-flow tampon.

Prognosis: You can't really cut him, you can't really play him. You can really, really hate him, though.