TOP 10 SIGNS THAT THE PATRIOTS-COLTS GAME IS TRIGGERING THE END OF DAYS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

The most eagerly anticipated NFL regular season game in the history of the universe happens this SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY... and with many observers regarding the game as a morality play writ large, there is always the possibility that the hype is finally right, and that the game may be the last thing that happens before Everything Goes Down, Big Time.

So, for the safety of you and your loved ones in the grim End Times, please review and commit the following list to memory. When the demons of the earth cover the sky like a whirlwind, you'll know whether or not they're playing "Cover 2."

10. Patriots QB Tom Brady's supermodel-impregnating manhood is reveled to be 25,000 miles long

9. SI's Peter King seen lugging an immense book which contains his final judgment on all players, whether they be quick or dead

8. It's revealed that Patriots coach Bill Belichick has put a tatoo mark on the forehead of all of his players and coaches

7. Colts DL Anthony McFarland reveals that he has recently started consuming worlds

6. Star WRs Marvin Harrison and Randy Moss are found dueling with swords in pre-game drills, with both heard to scream, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

5. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is rumored to have a "nuclear football" that he will detonate in the event of the Patriots opening up a big lead

4. Post-game ESPN mouth-job for the winning team provokes worldwide flooding

3. Colts PK Adam Vinatieri misses a potential game-winning kick, and is immediately tractor-beamed away by his alien brethren

2. Patriots WR Wes Welker revealed to have hairs of no other color than red

1. Cols head coach Tony Dungy raptured by angels that really, really hate gays