TOP 12 MYTHS ABOUT BEING A CARNY

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Most of these also apply to the real-world Carnies, but to be fair, the list is about the staff of the fine Web site that you are reading (OK, scanning) right now.

12. We're not allowed to wear shirts (not true, but once you've gotten the EC ink on you, you really don't want to)

11. We have a lingo all our own (only if you don't watch "The Simpsons", "South Park" and "Family Guy")

10. Payment for posts is in $50s and $100s with traces of crack; actually, we get direct deposit on the the 1st and 15th

9. Sex with the site's groupies is rampant; actually, this one's true, but only if you're OK with "Scrappy Seconds"

8. Group-wide emails can only be understood if you have a college degree from an Ivy League school (actually, many private college graduates will also understand some posts)

7. If you miss your deadline, thumbs are broken (it's more of a severe strain)

6. All of the slagging Anonymous comments are from other Carnies (completely false; they are all from me)

5. Initiation involves biting the heads off live rodents (for liability purposes, they are actually already dead)

4. The job is actually OK, but the travel really takes it out of you (for the most part, the hotels are too nice for it to be a real problem)

3. "Humor" posts that fail to provoke strong laughter will earn the writer a whipping (now, it's more about the taser)

2. If you aren't a fan of New England teams, you have to wear a dunce cap (it's actually a little yellow star)

1. The only way to leave is the Hells' Angels way, which is to say, a life-threatening beatdown (not true: it's more savage than life-threatening)