TUESDAY CONVERSATION: NORV TURNER'S FISH DINNER WITH SHAWNE MERRIMAN

by Kirk, PartMule

Norv Turner grabs Shawne Merriman for a quick conversation after the Chargers get back from Jacksonville late Sunday night.

NT: “What a week, huh? I continue to suck donkey d*ck and you got lit up like Chinese firecracker by that Jags midget. How ‘bout a nice fish dinner this week?”

SM: “F*ck you, Norv. I hate you.”

NT: “Come on, big daddy. Nobody but the entire free-world and five Iranian’s with satellites saw you take that hit. It ain’t nothing?”

SM: “F*ck you, Norv. I’m f*ckin huge in Iran... as usual, way to motivate... lunar landing looking mother f*cker.”

NT: “Come on, Lit Up... (chuckles) I mean, Lights Out. Listen. We’ll hit up Long John’s for a nice fish dinner. Come on, it’ll brighten both our spirits.

“Wait... lunar landing? Now, now... hardly fair to ridicule someone’s acne blemishes.”

SM: “F*ck you, Norv. F*ckin’ Dominos ain’t got nothin’ on that neck, mother f*cker.”

NT: “Look. I know you’re upset about the loss. I forgive you.

“How ‘bout we order some bottle service, grab a bag of cash, hit up a club after some nice cod and let it rain Grey Goose and Cash, baby. What ya say?

"Wait, wait... before you answer... Did I tell you the Mrs. and I have been practicin’ the Soulja Boy? With all the pressure lately, it’s been very therapeutic... I’m quite good at it!”

SM: “F*ck you, Norv. Therapeutic would’ve been your ass retired in ’98. How ‘bout watchin’ some film or some sh*t?”

NT: “Ok, Shawne. I’m reaching’ out here! I’ve decided to take all our star players out for a nice fish dinner to remedy our losing ways. You know. Fish is typically a stinky food. The Dolphins are worse than us... and stink... so we remedy it by eating away the stink. What ya say?”

SM: “Dude. Unless you tell me fish got some HGH up in d’em Omega 3’s, I ain’t about to fall into Long John Silvers with your narrow ass.”

NT: “Well, shoot. Can’t say I didn’t try...”

(LaDainian Tomlinson walks out of the training room. Merriman walks away.)

NT: “Hey, LaDainian! How ‘bout a nice fish dinner this week?”

LT: “F*ck you, Norv. I hate you.”