VCR QUARTERBACK TO CALL PLAYS FOR DOLPHINS SUNDAY

by Tbone, The Sports Hernia

In a somewhat questionable move, Cam Cameron, the mildly successful coach and offensive play-caller of the 0-9 Dolphins has announced that all offensive plays this Sunday will be called by legendary board game, VCR Quarterback. Despite being away from the game since 1986, VCR Quarterback is expected to fare admirably, with many strongly believing the grizzled cardboard rectangle will disrupt the game preparation of opposing teams.

"The problem with VCR Quarterback," said an insider who desperately needs to get laid, "is that you never know what's coming. You see, no two games are alike, and with hundreds of hours of fast-paced game playing, how is anyone expected to prepare for this? It's genius, so I certainly didn't expect this out of Miami. Plus, they're using the BETA version, which basically means the Eagles are fucked."

Just like all offensive coordinator's, unless they're fat and lazy, VCR Quarterback will have a prominent place on the sideline, taking in the action with the rest of the team on an easily recognizable wheel cart that will be adorned with a giant Miami Dolphins hat, presumably to be placed on top of the board game box.

Self-demoted play caller Cameron has happily been relegated to the simple tasks he was meant to do, such as wheeling VCR Quarterback up and down the sideline, gently petting the VCR after a big play, and making sure there's enough slack for the extension cord.