10 EASY STEPS TO BECOMING A JETS SUPERFAN

by Tbone, The Sports Hernia

Not that anyone is thinking of doing this, but I'm sure at one point or another you've all wondered what it takes to become a Jets superfan, or you've at least asked yourself aloud 'who are these people draped in what appear to be fake mustaches?' while watching the always festive first round of the NFL draft. Well, here's a quick step by step on how that transformation takes place.

1. Grow an obscenely grotesque mustache. And by grotesque we mean hilarious.
2. Throw that razor away as you will let this thing grow forever.
3. Firmly believe the Jets are always going to the Super Bowl, even when they've been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Trust me, this is a necessity, just do it.
   
4. Only tailgate with people that look exactly like Sal Fasano.
5. Purchase a jersey of an awful Jets player, they can be retired or active, as there are many to choose from.
6. Show team support by letting teeth become greenish and off-white (superbly done by most active Jet fans).
7. Whenever possible, talk on and on about Jets football to all non-Jet fans. They looooove this.
8. Buy that Mount Jetsmore poster with the faces of Rich Kotite, Joe Walton, Bruce Coslet and Herm Edwards. It'll be a nice touch in your green and white playroom.
9. Fiercely defend whichever retarded coach is currently at the helm until he is replaced with the next moron.
10. When the Jets are losing, shove as many cheese logs into your mouth as you can and then, and only then, begin talking trash to the opposing team's fans.