ALL OPEN AREA IN L.A. NOW COVERED

by Jack Cobra, Cobra Brigade

With the Dodgers signing of CF Andruw Jones last night, there is officially no more open space in L.A. that needs to be covered. With the Angels having Torii Hunter, Gary Matthews, Jr., and Chone Figgins and with the Dodgers have Jones and Juan Pierre it should be pretty difficult for anyone to find an open space to drop a fly ball in there. You may think that this only benefits the Dodgers and Angels, but you would be wrong. Here is who else it benefits:

- Department of Homeland Security: With these players patrolling the grounds it's going to be tough for any terrorists to sneak into the country. We may have had Jack Bauer before, but we have no need for him anymore.

- Department of Immigration: Do you think any illegal immigrants are going to be able to get across the border to steal jobs from Americans with these guys watching? I didn't think so either.

- Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers and San Francisco 49ers: All of these California based NFL teams are in desperate need of wide receivers no longer.

- NASA - If an asteroid began to plunge towards L.A. to end mankind...you know who NASA would turn to.

These are just a few of the organizations that are going to be helped out with this signing. As you can see, this doesn't just help the Dodgers and the Angels...it helps us all. Thank you Dodgers. Thank you Angels.