THE BEER TENT: FA RA RA RA RA - RA RA RA RA

by dswinder, Sons of Sam Malone

Here at Epic Carnival, we meet weekly under The Beer Tent to shoot the shit. I, dswinder, will be the ringleader, but you can join in on the discussion every Tuesday at 3:00ish!

Aaaaaaand we're back... You may have, and probably didn't, take any notice to my glaring absence from this stimulating synapse the past week. What you don't know, however, is that it was all for a grander purpose. Stick with me here. Due to the presence of a what some would call a pretty big deal of a holiday occurring simultaneously with our intended weekly meeting time next jollification period -- I felt, rather than leave you hanging for two grueling weeks straight, I would mercifully object you, instead, to two ten day hiatuses. Hiati? Hiatusee?

How considerate. I know... If only it were true. Really, a case of inadequacy, for the second time in the short history of The Beer Tent, reared its ugly head, leaving me feeling static and you with a new found appreciation for the power of prayer... But now that we've got all of that out of the way, shall I move onward with The Beer Tent: The Christmas Special?

I thought so too...

Random Ramblings (w/links):

Some devastating news for... me... After my beloved Volunteers lost an offensive coordinator, in David Cutcliffe, and the coolest coach in sports, in Trooper Taylor, it's now been announced that six scholarship players, including leading receiver, Lucas Taylor, and starting linebacker, Rico McCoy are academically ineligible for the Outback Bowl (gotta love the commas)... There's only one thing wrong with the last little bit... It's anything but devastating for your's truly... I mean, after Erik Ainge made the life decision to felate the Louisiana State University Tigers, I, for all intents and purposes, chose to cease my care for the 2007 Tennessee football season...

Am I to assume that "don't ask, don't tell" doesn't apply in the realm of college athletics? Even when a military academy is involved? You see? It appears that that the guys in stripes are fessing up to screwing the Navy Midshipmen out of the Poinsettia Bowl...

I'm not sure who to loathe more... The ass of an attorney, more concerned with the BCS, in a crap year no less, than his client? Or the boneheaded judge who granted the postponement of trial... I guess I should expect no more from an LSU fan... It's really just setting one's self up for disappointment...

Awww... Josh Hamilton is getting the chance to take his sympathy show elsewhere... No longer will Cincinnati fans be blessed with the joy of patting the rehabilitated, average at best, centerfielder on the back for almost vomiting on a Major League career... Look out Texas... Here comes the feel goods...

Okay, I'm just going to copy this headline verbatim... "Man Utd. fans sentenced for hooliganism." So the actual charges aren't nearly as cool as the headline, but that's not what matters... What matters is what people think about you. Don't they teach anything in elementary school these days? And thanks to Reuters, these guys now get to tell chicks they did time for hooliganism... That is, when they finally escape the clutches of a love-starved sex-a-holic named Bruno, and are released from the gray-barred hotel... Bad ass...

Time Waster of the Week:

Me? I haven't subjected myself to this garbage, but you... You must experience the madness that is... Duh, Duh, Duh... Wicky Woo... TWO... Enjoy!

But what would a Christmas special be without a way to festively waste one's life? In steps Santa Launch. Zoom in on the fat guy. Blur surroundings. Cue cannon. Play!

Random YouTube of the Week:

I'm going to go ahead and executively decide that YouTube of the week doesn't literally have to be from YouTube.... It simply has to be a video... Because I make the rules... So break out your Holiday Cheer, and join the Professor Brothers in Prisoner Christmas...NSFW...

Muzak of the Week:

What's Christmas without the sounds of the Holiday season? And what are the sounds of the Holiday season without the Rat Pack? Bile, that's what... For listening purposes, I'm going to link you to Deano's Myspace page, but I strongly suggest you buy the album on iTunes for immediate ear candy or Amazon if you can wait that long...

Public Service Announcement:

Time to be sincere... No matter what you celebrate, or don't -- I hope you have a happy, or merry, whatever this year... Ah, what the heck? I'm not one for political correctness... Merry Christmas!

See you in ten or eleven days...