BOLLOCKS, CRAP, SHITE: THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, BCS

by Andy Kissko, Rivalfish

There are plenty of sports fans out there, and god love 'em, who don't mind ignoring the BCS elephant in the room. I respect peaceful souls like them that prefer to not rock the boat. Hell, if it weren't for gentle lambs like them we probably wouldn't have the Red Cross, the Salvation Army or the Peace Corps. And who was that famous guy that was always extolling the virtues of lamb-like behavior? Oh yeah, Jesus.

Well, I'm not one of them. I happen to love college football and grew up in, geographically what would be in the center of a triangle if you connected the dots of the stadiums that are home to Ohio State, Michigan and Notre Dame. Because I love college football, I refuse to stand idly by and let the BCS to do this college football. I'm going to start ranting now.

Hearing fans bemoan the BCS and say things like "This is ridiculous! How can (insert team name here) not be in (insert BCS game here)!!" has grown beyond tiresome. It would be like if you started hooking up with a girl while she was still dating her old boyfriend, then she dumped him to be with you you, and then you being surprised that she cheated on you. Sorry if it happened to you, but don't tell me you're shocked that it happened.

Football is the only collegiate sport that does not end its season with a tournament. That alone, by definition, means it is the worst organized collegiate sport- they are costing their represented schools tons of money, while alienating their fans. Brilliant! During college football season the coverage for it is ubiquitous- every Saturday on two major networks and two or three ESPN channels, talk radio everyday, every sports news show, newspapers and magazines, you name it. All of this despite the risk of every year ending without a clear champion. That's like the hottest girl in your school having an eyepatch but STILL managing to be hotter than everyone else.

Contrast that with college sports like lacrosse, track, baseball, field hockey, swimming and gymnastics. You won't see those on SportsCenter or PTI. In fact, the only time network tv and ESPN acknowledge they exist is during their end-of-year tournaments (well, and rape scandals). So if such un-viewer-friendly sports can transcend their un-viewer-friendly status by virtue of an end-of-year tournament, imagine how huge a college football postseason would be. That is to say, imagine how hot the hottest girl would be without the eyepatch and lazy eye.

Between being a novel concept, bringing back its fans that it lost from not having a playoffs, and just from being the freaking college football playoffs, the financial upside would be enormous. How in the name of Bronco Nagurski, has the BCS not made this happen? Isn't doing that their job? They are leaving scores of millions of dollars on the table that would fatten their boss's pockets AND benefit schools, yet they still have their jobs. So you're telling me that pissing off your fans and missing out on huge paydays for you and for your academic institutions is a good idea to you, BCS?

Additionally, how the BCS brain trust can expect someone to invest their emotions and money into a team for three months without a playoff is laughable. I realize that despite this annoyance millions of people still watch college football. But the safety-in-numbers argument doesn't hold much water when millions of people also watch Flavor of Love and The Bachelor and buy the CDs of American Idol alumni.

When I was a freshman at Miami University, there was a big PR campaign to combat intolerance and it's slogan was "Silence is Acceptance: Speak Loudly". That's what I'm doing with the BCS. I love the game of football, but hate the BCS. Who was it that hated the sins but loved the sinners? Oh yeah, Jesus.