by Simon, SimonOnSports
The Mitchell Report is done and over with and it supplied us with Kirk Radomski and a rehashing of old news. So it was not nearly as exciting as one could have hoped and thus many of the jokers, myself included, got absolutely no one singled out in this fantasy draft. We're going by the list on ESPN as well as the list on Deadspin and what I remember from glancing through the report, so there are probably omissions in this analysis, but whatever, you won't be able to call me biased at the end of it. Anyway enough blabbering and on to the winners and losers.
THE RADOMSKI WASN'T OUR SUPPLIER SQUADS
These guys all probably roided but apparently had better suppliers, aka non rats or people that weren't busted.
DMTShooter: Kenny Rogers, Milton Bradley, Eric Chavez, Curt Schilling, Dave Hollins
No offense to DMT or anything but this was probably the worst team. I mean that in all kindness. He went with people that there haven't been many whispers about and I guess that didn't work.
Rev. Shaw Moore: Brett Boone, Albert Pujols, Carl Pavano, Pedro Martinez, Travis Hafner
Brett Boone was a shoe-in I thought, but apparently he didn't get his drugs from BALCO, the internet or Radomski. The other choices were a bit questionable.
Jack Cobra's Waiver Wire Picks: Mike Cameron, Richard Hidalgo, Jeromy Burnitz and Edgardo Alfonzo, Brian Giles
No Edgardo Alfonzo? These latinos are tricky with getting their steroids and HGH in a foreign country and not from their own clubhouse attendees. What kind of loyalty is that? And apparently Mike Cameron just likes greenies.
Simon: Ivan Rodriguez, Nomar Garciaparra, Jay Payton, Jeff Bagwell, Sammy Sosa
What the hell? All these guys roided. Sammy got his from the DR so he had nothing against him and the rest, who knows? The stab of Jay Payton was basically the one wrong Met from the 2000s. Todd Hundley was such an easy choice, I'm an idiot.
Noce's Waiver Wire Picks: Dante Bichette, Dontrelle Willis, Todd Helton, Jim Edmonds, Raul Ibanez
In fairness to Noce he was the last one to pick off the Waiver Wire and had to pick up the scrap. And well, the scrap did not include any Mets or Yankees, so no dice.
THE BLIND SQUIRRELS FIND A NUT
Dr. C: Brady Anderson, Mark Prior, Luis Gonzalez, Juan Gonzalez, Larry Walker
For some reason Juan Gonzalez is not on any of those two lists but I swear I saw his name in the report. Maybe it was just people suspecting he used steroids. Whatever... I'll give Dr. C a charity point.
Angry T: Adrian Beltre, Kevin Brown, Aramis Ramirez, Gabe Kapler, Kyle Farnsworth
I thought Aramis was an ill-advised choice, but did like the Kapler and Brown suggestions. He should get bonus points for picking Brown, as he was a complete moron. Shipping cash and make it a sign-off package. Genius.
Mac G: Javier Lopez, Roger Clemens, Tony Batista, Jorge Julio, Mike Lowell
He got only one but he grabbed the biggest fish in the barrel; one that I really didn't think was going to be included. I was wrong, he was right, we both didn't win.
THE JUST MISSED OUT
Andy Kissko's Waiver Wire Picks : Benito Santiago, Jeremy Giambi, Scott Spiezio, Julio Franco, Steve Finley
Went with BALCO guys. Giambi probably should have been DQ'd as not applicable while Benito was a good pick. Again, not a winner so cheating can be tolerated.
Ren: Miguel Tejada, Placido Polanco, AJ Burnett, Brian Roberts, Nick Swisher
I don't get the Placido Polanco pick, but Ren cashed in with the two Oreos. Really I would have never thought of Brian Roberts as a steroid user, but maybe he took those two to four shots when he went on that home run binge the first few months a couple of seasons ago.
CHEATER I MEAN WINNER
DCScrap: Eric Gagne, Jeff Kent, Randy Johnson, Troy Glaus, Matt Williams
The Gagne pick was a good one but he won it based on the Glaus and Matt Williams picks which were borderline acceptable given that they both were linked to the HGH scandal a few months ago.
Bitterness aside I now present our best cheat prognosticator with the Grand Prize...
A Year's Supply of HGH is yours. You too can become a washed up Major League Baseball Player looking to get an edge on the competition.
Friday, December 14, 2007
EC'S MITCHELL REPORT FANTASY LEAGUE RECAP
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4 comment(s):
Have you ever seen Polanco's head? He has a head growing out of a head. Like Don Beebe's helmet.
Ren - it's a legitimate health issue: Conjoined Twin Myslexia. I saw it on tv once.
I should have stayed with my pre draft strategy of selecting all Orioles or anyone that played with David Segui.
After reading the list of names on the Mitchell Report, there were many names that were unexpected. One name however, surly is not a surprise. That player is Kevin Brown. Could anyone forget the former Yankee pitcher in a "roid rage" punching a cement wall injuring his hand and causing the Yankees to loose many games without his overpriced arm? If memory serves the Boston Red Sox benefited from the aformentioned conduct. It should also be noted that very few if any markee Red Sox players appeared on the list.
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