FREDDIE MITCHELL STILL GOTS ITS

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

A legend still is amongst the living. A football player who had such an infatuation with his parts of his body, a restraining order was necessary. Remember Freddie Mitchell?

The Pony Fro-Hawk. The Championship Belt. 4th and 26. FredEx was there, and he delivered. I can't describe the love I had for Freddie Mitchell when he was apart of the NFL. Freddie had charisma, a personality, and was by far, the most entertaining player on the field. He took the stereotype of wide receivers being "flashy" and "cocky", and took it to outer space... in a big green delivery truck. But that was before the Eagles ended up cutting the receiver after disappointing performances, and a short stint with the Kansas City Chiefs.

Where's Freddie now? Good question. He was substituting at Mishawaka High School in Indiana. Well, let's just say that didn't last long. A source from Myspace:

I just saw Freddie Mitchell last night literally. He was at A BW3's in Mishawaka Indiana watching the Bears game... drunk. Buying ramdom people drinks. He comes around there once in a while to see his baby momma. He actually got fired from subbing at Mishawaka High School for asking female students for thier numbers...

Wait... he had to ask for their numbers? Do these girls not know who #84 once was? This is no has-been. His hands are still great. His game is still great. Hell, I would pay him in teenage girls' numbers just so he'd substitute on campus at my school. And that's not to say I know a ton of teenage girls. They just... know me because I can buy them alcohol. And that's a fun thing by the way, teenage girls and alcohol. A six-pack of Zima and a handle of Schnapps seems to make all of their clothes and inhibitions dissolve. It's boss.

Anyways, it's nice to see that Freddie is still making it big in his post NFL career. A sugar momma, a job teaching today's youth, and even requesting little girls' numbers to help tutor. Is it too late to declare this man Sportsman of the Year?

Oh... you still have to be involved with sports somehow? Mmm... that's a bummer.