HOLY F!

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

Getting anyone interested in men's soccer is hard enough, getting them interested in women's soccer? Fat fucking chance my friend. But that was before I stalked found Amanda Cicchini, mid-fielder for the West Virginia Lady Mountaineers. I've taken the athletic Web site's description of her and added my own flair:

Experienced international player that plays the game works the pole with great poise . Great vision and ball(s) control. A technically sound midfielder piece of ass. Possesses the ability to withstand any type of pressure tie me up in leather straps and make me do naughty things. Can change the point of attack me with whips very quickly. Very tactically aware (with my balls). Has great presence (and a wonderful ass). Links offense and defense together with guys or girls, making her extremely versatile. A non-stop player cock-fiend with a non-stop work rate.

MSNsportsNET really missed out. I don't care if she's 5'2", how about her chest-waist-stomach? And yes, because she plays soccer, you can be sure that there will be some sort of jokes about "handballs" and "offsides" jokes involved with the comments. She's fucking delicious.

God, she had to play soccer didn't she? How am I supposed to stalk her if she doesn't get national media coverage? I guess I'm going to have to fire up the RV (A.K.A., "For The Mobile Stalker" or "Stalker-on-the-Go") for this one.

I don't even care if I'm late to the party on this one (which I am), it had to be discussed on the Carnival. Anyone complaining?

HT: CO-ED Magazine, Bullievable Sports