I'M CALLING YOU OUT, WCT

by WCT, The Ship of Fools

“Calling You Out!” is a periodic segment where WCT takes people to task for irresponsible journalism, foolhardy activities, or just general douchebaggery. Nothing is sacred, no one is spared, watch your ass mister! You could be next!

Today, I'm calling myself out. I spent most of the late afternoon on Sunday pacing around my apartment muttering "I'm so stupid! I'm so stupid!" like Fragile Frankie Merman from that Seinfeld episode. Only the frigid temperatures kept me from running into Central Park and burying myself in a hole.

Last week, I stupidly talked about how much I was cheering for an 0-16 Miami Dolphins record. I spoke about the winless season as if it was a foregone conclusion. Like clockwork, the Dolphins went out and won their next game, overcoming a 13-3 halftime deficit. How dumb am I?

I almost didn't even write the post, simply because I thought (as it turns out, correctly) that talking about my dream of an 0-16 season would jinx it. In the middle of the post, I commented on how writing it was like talking to a pitcher in the middle of throwing a perfect game. Yet, for some reason, I kept going. What a moron.

I am not, however, the only one who is at fault here. Kicker Matt Stover missed what would have been a game-winning field goal in overtime. And soon-to-be-unemployed Head Coach Brian Billick also deserves some of the blame for his horrible decision to kick the tying field goal in the final seconds of regulation rather than go for the winning touchdown with the ball inside the 1-yard line. Or how about just blaming the entire Ravens roster and coaching staff, for blowing a 10-point lead and ending up in an overtime game with an 0-13 football team quarterbacked by Cleo Lemon?

Miami's come-from-behind, overtime win was a disappointment on a Sunday filled with let-downs. I expected feet of snow and 30 mph winds in New Jersey to wreak havoc on the Redskins-Giants game and turn it into a circus. Didn't happen. I expected to see New England bludgeon the New York Jets to get revenge for ratting on the Pats about spygate. The result was nothing but a ho-hum 20-10 yawner. I at least thought that Eric Mangini and Bill Belichick would come to blows at midfield during the post-game handshake. Instead it was nothing but another terse handshake. Bo-ring.

So, as it turns out, the 2007 Miami Dolphins will just be an awful, awful football team, rather than a record-setting, history-making joke of a team as I had hoped. And the game next week against the Patriots is just a mismatch between two teams, rather than a clash of one of the great teams in pro football history and one of the worst.

So to all of you who shared my dream, I apologize. There's always next year. And I promise that if someone is 0-13 next year, I will not jinx the dream season on a blog in week 15.