INSIDE THE YANKEES' FORT: PART II

by Ray, Flyers Fieldhouse

A-Rod is off in his own world, playing with Tonka trucks in front of his locker. The clubhouse is dimly lit and empty. Or so he believes.

Alex: Vrrrrrrrr. Beep beep beep! Move out, dump truck coming through.

(Alex hears grunting coming from the bathroom.)

Alex: Hey, not fair. Mr. George told me I could have playtime by myself eight hours a day. No one gets in here without knowing the secret handshake.

(Alex peeks his head around the corner. Jason Giambi has torn a sink out of the wall and is now trying to eat it.)

Alex: Awwwww, I'm telling! You're in big trouble now.

Jason: What the hell are you doing here, Twinkletoes? Mind your own damn business. This is grown-up stuff.

Alex: Well too bad, mister. You can't come in my room without my say-so. (yelling) Geoooooooorge! The scary man is hurting stuff again!

Jason: (frantically) Wait wait, keep your voice down. We just need to cool out, man. Hey, you wanna play a grown-up game?

Alex: Wellllll ... I guess. What's it called?

Jason: (produces needle) Steroids, man. Everybody's doing it.

Alex: No way! Mr. Boras told me I can't do that stuff. He told me my wee-wee would turn into a girl private.

Jason: Naw man, he's just a narc. I do it. Roger does it. You want to hang out with the cool kids, right? Don't you wanna sit in the back of the plane instead of with the nerds up front?

Alex: Well ... yeah. How do I play?

Jason: First you have to take off your pants, turn around, and touch your toes.

Alex: Nuh uh, Hank already made me play this game and it hurt for like 40 seconds!

Jason: (visibly freaked out) Um, no, not that game. Just trust me. You can trust me, right?

Alex: OK, fine. But I better not see any vegetables again.

(Jason raises the needle, ready to destroy the reputation and potential legacy of one of the game's greatest players, when Derek Jeter storms into the bathroom.)

Derek: Halt, evildoer!

Jason: Buzzkill.

Derek: Do not let him do this to you, Alex. I know you're lonely without Scott. I know you're lost in this crazy, mixed up world right now. But remember; you have a friend right here.

Alex: Awww really, DJ?

Derek: Don't call me that. And you! (turns to Giambi) How dare you? Just because your life is shallow and pathetic and meaningless, don't you dare drag him into this. He's just a kid for Christ's sakes.

Jason: He's 32.

Derek: Yeah, but look at him. He's eating paste out of the office supplies cabinet. He knows no better. Peddle your wares somewhere else, douche bag.

Jason: (reduced to tears) Rogerrrrrrr, Derek is being a meanie-head! Make him stop!

Derek: God, if you can hear me ... kill me.

Read Part One here.