by Liston, Introducing Liston
I'm Liston and I'm cool. Like, real cool. I wear black gloves and say things like, "dope" and "rad". I live in my own efficiency apartment and pay half of the rent. My car has a bumper sticker that says "Liquor in the front, poker in the rear". I have a samurai sword in my living room. I'm good with a pocket knife. This Wednesday feature is called "Introducing Tips from Liston." That's me. I'm Liston and I'm cool. Like, real cool.
EDITOR'S NOTE: The opinions expressed here are those of a Liston and do not necessarily reflect the positions of EpicCarnival.com and its other writers.
So there's this child molester walking thru the woods at dusk with an 8 year-old. The 8 year-old, holding hands with the child molester, looks up says, "I'm scared, it's getting dark." The child molester looks at her and says, "You're scared?! I'm the one that has to walk back to the car alone."
Undoubtedly, at some point in your life, you've sat there and thought, "Hmmm... I wonder if my daughter is dating a black guy." It's a common question, really. So how can you tell?
This week's tip: How to tell if your daughter is dating a black guy.
Love,
Liston
I'm Liston and I'm cool. Like, real cool. I wear black gloves and say things like, "dope" and "rad". I live in my own efficiency apartment and pay half of the rent. My car has a bumper sticker that says "Liquor in the front, poker in the rear". I have a samurai sword in my living room. I'm good with a pocket knife. This Wednesday feature is called "Introducing Tips from Liston." That's me. I'm Liston and I'm cool. Like, real cool.EDITOR'S NOTE: The opinions expressed here are those of a Liston and do not necessarily reflect the positions of EpicCarnival.com and its other writers.
So there's this child molester walking thru the woods at dusk with an 8 year-old. The 8 year-old, holding hands with the child molester, looks up says, "I'm scared, it's getting dark." The child molester looks at her and says, "You're scared?! I'm the one that has to walk back to the car alone."
Undoubtedly, at some point in your life, you've sat there and thought, "Hmmm... I wonder if my daughter is dating a black guy." It's a common question, really. So how can you tell?
This week's tip: How to tell if your daughter is dating a black guy.
- She started calling her shoes "kicks" and can't wait for the new J's to drop, yo.
- She knows what Just for me is.
- She just lets her soul glo, feeling oh so silky smooth.
- She walks funny now.
- She uses the phrase "No diggity" when the phrase "No" would do just fine.
- She knows exactly what the last two dominoes that you're holding are.
- She used to love Luke Perry, but now she loves Tyler Perry.
- She doesn't throw up when she watches I Love New York.
- She's cosigned several loans in the last few months.
- When she asks for $20 dollars she says, "Lemme hold $20 dollars".
- When she refers to "kites" she doesn't mean the ones that you fly, she means notes that get passed in prison.
- She got a tattoo of a panther crawling down her thigh, or some cat claws on her tits.
Love,
Liston
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1 comment(s):
Racist pig. Why don't you crawl in a hole and die?
Black Joe
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