MATCH.COM MONDAYS: RYAN GRANT

by Rupert, Ghosts of Wayne Fontes

As we make our way through this world, we're all trying to do one thing... procreate. But sometimes, it's hard to find a partner who shares the same interests as you do. I'm all about love baby, so I'll be promoting the Match.com profiles of our favorite athletes/commentators/journalists. You never know, you the reader might find the love of your life!

This Week's Featured Profile: Ryan Grant
Display Name: the_waiver_wire_is_for_rick_mirer
Status: Online now!

* age: 25
* seeking: mad beave
Relationships: Single
Have kids: None
Ethnicity: Black
Body type: Sleek
Height: 6'1"
Religion: The Pack
Smoke: No
Drink: Only when I get named FedEx Player of the week. Otherwise, I can't afford it.

My Job:
Owing fantasy football and kicking fucking ass for anyone smart enough to snatch me off the waiver wire.

Favorite Hot Spots:
The end zone. I gots 5 TDs in 5 weeks and I'm just gettin warm. Other than that, the airport is the only hotspot in Green Bay. It's cold as shit up here. I need to get traded.

For Fun:
Owning my fantasy league. Seriously, I feel sorry for anyone who played against me this season. Shit, I started myself in week 1 and still won.

Favorite Things:
I love kickin' back with Charles Woodson, playing whiffle ball, and eating cheese curd. Also, I am down with hanging out down in Mad Town. Those University of Wisconsin girls know how to party and they have the dankest of nuggets.

Dislikes:
Charlie Weis. Watching Notre Dame is about as enticing as a nice juicy tofu steak. The NCAA is gonna have to create a new bowl just to give them somewhere to play on New Years Day. I think they should play at the rottenass.com bowl. You suck Weis.

Last Read:
Understanding & Negotiating Business Contracts, by Jon Rush

About Me and Who I'm Looking For:
Can I just pick? I hear Sterger hangs around here. I'd tap that. I also like Rihanna if you guys could set that up. Oooh, I also totally dig on Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years. Make that happen.