MATCH.COM MONDAYS: XAVIER LEE

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

As we make our way through this world, we're all trying to do one thing... procreate. But sometimes, it's hard to find a partner who shares the same interests as you do. I'm all about love baby, so I'll be promoting the Match.com profiles of our favorite athletes/commentators/journalists. You never know, you the reader might find the love of your life!

This Week's Featured Profile: Xavier Lee
Display Name: YouDisappointMe_1
Status: Online Now!

* age: 21
* seeking: Apple Bottoms
Relationships: Single
Have kids: Not sure?
Ethnicity: Black
Body type: Ripped, but dumb
Height: 6'4"
Religion: Masochism
Smoke: Hell yeah
Drink: Party like a rockstar fucker.

My Job:
Starter/Back up/Guy wasting scholarship for Florida State University. Yeah, my role kinda confuses me too dude. Fucking don't judge bro.

Favorite Hot Spots:
Bullwinkkle's in Tallhassee, some strip clubs, Bobby Bowden's place to kick back and smoke some ganj. Practice is waaaaay more excitin' when you're carryin' a buzz maaaaaaign.

For Fun:
I can dig sittin' down and listening to some tunes. I've always had this passion for some hairstylin'. Making people beautiful is a beautiful thing. Footbaww is coo' from time to time, but peeps are gettin' too damn competitive maaaaign. I just wanna chuck that shit deep and work on their dew on the sideline.

Favorite Things:
Deep bawws, dreadlocks, defeating the bowl cut, corner routes, post patterns, guards that open up scramblin' lanes, a clean pair of scissors, and students that'll take some money under the table to do my "Planting and nurturing your Garden" homework.

Dislikes:
Schoo' man. Fuck that shit maaaaign. I gots playbooks to read and chicken heads blowin' me up like Hiroshima. Education is for fags.

Last Read:
...you're joking, right?

About Me and Who I'm Looking For:
I'm a boy who loves footbaww in the South maaaaign. You tell people you play that, and you get so much shit. Schoolin', chicks, money. Sometimes I just people I play footbaww to get tax right offs. Even the government loves it maaaaign. It's not cool I got to sit out so much dude. Some of my boys and I are sittin' out tomorrow night's Music City Bowl versus the Kentucky Wildcats so I'm lookin' for something to preoccupy for a night or two. Maybe we can dicuss some hairties maaaaaaaaign. I could use a weave right about now. I'm startin' to develop some split ends.