Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: THE 'ROID REPORT: THE ROIDIE AWARDS

THE 'ROID REPORT: THE ROIDIE AWARDS

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

This was clearly a great year for drug-cheats. Many fine performances in cheating, lying, and deception. There were so many deserving entries and potential winners we listed several ties. We are already juiced for 2008.

With no further delay, your 2007 Roidie award winners:

Category: Female Juicing:
4. (tie) World record holder Jolanda Ceplak will sit 2 years for EPO use
4. (tie) Brazilian swimmer Rebeca 'The Hulk' Gusmoa bulks up on testosterone
3. East German female Olympians deliver deformed babies after forced steroid use
2. Barry Bonds's ex-girlfriend and BALCO witness Kimberly Bell bares biceps and pecs for Playboy
1. Marion Jones admits to long-standing juicing, loses all Olympics medals

Category: Sickest steroid use:
4.(tie) Kayak world champion Nathan Baggaley blames positive 'roid test on brother's orange juice (later Baggaley arrested for ecstasy)
4.(tie) Kansas City Royals give juicer Jose Guillen 36,000,000
4.(tie). Landis buddy reveals former Tour de France winner Greg Lemond was a victim child sex abuse.
3. Stories leak out about dogs juiced with roids fighting for entertainment; Michael Vick dog fighting bust
2. Juicer (HGH), boozer, greenie user former-Yankee Jim Leyritz arrested for DUI and vehicular homicide
1. 'Roids found in WWE wrestler Chris Benoit after family sui-homicide

Category: Steroids for the Stars
5. Belgian cyclist Frank Vandenbroucke, supermodel wife, involved in Tour de France, doping, and suicide attempt
4. Former NFL lineman Tony Mandarich develops into well known photographer
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger's on-going juice associations (breaks leg, winner of his bodybuilding classic busted; congratulates fellow 'roider Bonds etc.)
2. HGH use caused abscesses in Anna Nicole Smith's gluts
1. Rocky on Roids -- Sly Stallone busted in Australia for 'roids and HGH

Category: Steroid Busts
5. Operations Raw Deal, Massive PED bust
4. Jason Grimsley bust documents released (and here)
2.(tie) Ongoing saga of Internet Pharmacy Busts
2.(tie) Kirk Radomski 'Metboy' pleads guilty to being The Walmart of steroid dealers
1. The Mitchell Report (and here)

Category: Best Overall 'Roid Story:
5. Pro Cycling and Tour de France's ongoing battle with doping, including Floyd Landis futile Wiki tour/defense
4. Roger Clemens's fight against steroid and HGH charges ( and here)
3. Marion Jones, after years of denying doping admits to steroid and PED use, loses Olympic gold medals
1. (tie) Barry Bonds breaks career home run record, then indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice
1. (tie) Mitchell Report reveals widespread PED use in pro baseball

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