Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 10 FUTURE JOBS FOR KEVIN EVERETT

TOP 10 FUTURE JOBS FOR KEVIN EVERETT

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

What, too soon?

Look, I'm as glad as anyone that he's walking and doing well. But his record as a pre-game motivator is 0-2, and he's probably not going to make it back to the Bills as an active player. It's time to turn the page. And I think Stephon Marbury's dad would have wanted it this way.

10. Spectacularly effective "heel" turn as a manager in pro wrestling, with the gimmick of feigning paralysis, then attacking the face from the stretcher

9. Instructional teacher in the "How Not To Tackle" video

8. Endorser of Riddell helmets ("If only I was wearing one of these, everything would have been fine")

7. Special guest in new reunion video for the Crash Test Dummies

6. Narrator in the upcoming NFL Films series "Football's Most Brutal Injuries"

5. Lead Zombie in upcoming "Night of the Living Dead" film

4. Tour guide at the Texas School Book Deposity ("back, and to the right... back, and to the right...")

3. ESPN's new "Full Contact Ombudsman"

2. Spokesman for FatHead's new "Ironic" line

1. Host of VH1's new series, "Worst Week Ever"

3 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

Too soon.
That and it goes:
Back...and to the left
Back...and to the left

Tracer Bullet said...

This is, without question, the most vile thing you've ever done. Kudos!

Dr. C said...

agreed..your finest top ten..good stuff


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