TOP 11 REASONS BILL PARCELLS TOOK THE MIAMI JOB

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

11. Pretty sure that he can't make things worse

10. Brings his Pokemon-like obsession of collecting East franchise gigs to five

9. Golden opportunity to show up Jimmy Johnson

8. Gets him far away from Chris Berman, who emits a nightmarish odor of stale onions, curdled milk and sad compromise

7. Couldn't resist the chance to work with a class act and solid citizen like Wayne Huizenga

6. Opens up the playbook in his continuing desire to mess with Dan Marino

5. Drew Bledsoe needs a job -- any job -- really, really bad

4. Like many 66-year-old men, he can't resist moving to Florida so that he can leer at the sweet young South Beach poon

3. All part of the worldwide conspiracy to get Falcons owner Arthur Blank to put a bullet in his head

2. Looking forward to jerking Cam Cameron around for a good long time before he puts the knife in his back and takes the coaching job

1. Gives him something to do before his next retirement