CALLING YOU OUT!: HACK BASEBALL H.O.F. VOTER

by WCT, The Ship of Fools

“Calling You Out!” is a periodic segment where WCT takes people to task for irresponsible journalism, foolhardy activities, or just general douchebaggery. Nothing is sacred, no one is spared, watch your ass mister! You could be next!

In this edition - Another baseball hall of fame voter is exposed as an ass-hat

Today, we focus on a writer that is obviously starved for attention, and has decided to use his power as a voter to garner that attention. Just as a side-note, I will not refer this writer by name so as to not give him the notoriety he desires. Also, for the purposes of this rant I will just call him a “guy” even though I am well aware the writer could very well be a woman. I’m just playing the percentages.

I don’t know why this irritates me so much, but it does. It really pisses me off, and I actually wrote about how much it pissed me off almost a year ago to the day. Last year's rant was spawned by my anger over my favorite college football team losing the BCS title game, my how things have changed, but I digress.

So the press release was sent out announcing who made the baseball hall of fame this week, and at the very bottom of that there is a section called “others receiving votes,” similar to what you will see at the bottom of any weekly college football poll (more on that coming soon). Well, I like reading that part of the press release just to see what ludicrous, obscure, “holy-sh*t-how-could-anyone-vote-for-that-guy” guy appears at the very bottom with only one vote. I am rarely disappointed. This year’s ballot was no exception.

Todd F. Stottlemyre. The “F” stands for “Freakin.’” As in, TODD FREAKIN’ STOTTLEMYRE??

In case you were unaware, Todd Stottlemyre’s claim to fame as a baseball player is the fact that his father was the pitching coach for the Yankees when they won multiple World Series. That’s just about it. Yes, Todd played 14 season in the major leagues, but can you remember anything memorable he did during that time? Because I sure can’t.

His career ERA was 4.28. His average yearly W-L record was 13-11 over his career. His ERA+ for his career was 100. In other words, Stottlemyre was the very definition of an average pitcher for the entirety of his major league career.

He never was in the top-30 in the Cy Young balloting in any year. Or MVP balloting. Never received a Gold Glove. He was absolute crap his rookie year (ERA+ of 69!) so you know he didn’t get any Rookie-of-the-Year votes. In the postseason he was 3-5 with an ERA close to 6, so you can’t say that he was clutch. He was just a guy. Just a guy who won, oh, roughly 50% of his decisions, and gave up almost exactly the league average of runs per 9 IP.

He never even appeared in an all-star game. He didn't even garner an "aw dammit, we forgot to take a Diamondback on the NL team... hell, I don't know... screw it, take Stottlemyre" selection.

Yet someone out there who presumably gets paid, and gains his livelihood by covering baseball for a credible periodical, included him on his hall of fame ballot. How anyone, who is compensated with cash in exchange for his thoughts and opinions on the subject of baseball, can examine the career of one Todd Stottlemyre--either in person, on television, through reading statistics, or through word-of-mouth--and determine that he should be included among the very best of the best of the best baseball players to ever put on a pair of spikes, is completely beyond my comprehension.

Yes, Travis Fryman inexplicably received two votes, but hell, he was a multiple-time all-star and a Gold Glove winner. Yes, somehow newly-fingered steroid guy Chuck Knoblauch received a vote, but he won rookie of the year and four world titles. Yes, the balloting for some reason also included Robb Nen, Shawon Dunston, Chuck Finley and David Justice. But you know what? (in order) 3-time all star, 2-time all star, 5-time all star, 3-time all star. Only Mel Stottlemyre’s son was able to land on some guy’s list of the best players of all time, without ever being included among the best 30 (or so) players in his league in any one year. Simply stunning.

So here’s to you, idiot hack writer, you have truly outdone yourself. I hope the paper or magazine that employs you for your baseball knowledge, along with the readers who pay money to read said paper or magazine, are truly proud of you.